Starting Over
What does starting over "not" mean for you
It does not mean that nothing happened or ignoring feelings, it means choosing not to weaponize the past
What are 3 words you want our relationship to be defined by?
Safe, honest, and playfulness/laughter
What’s a boundary that helps you stay emotionally regulated?
Taking short breaks during heated conversations specifically when an unfortunate occurrence arises
How do you usually process emotions—internally or externally?
Internal deliberation and evaluation
What’s a safe phrase we can use to slow things down?
Open
What do you need emotionally to feel safe enough to start fresh?
Consistency, initiation, devoted to the road of getting to know me
What makes you feel most connected to me?
Exemplifying my situational needs
Not just being well-studied for the negative things
How should we ask for space without making it feel like abandonment?
By giving reassurance and a timeframe
What’s a difference between us that could actually be a strength?
One reflects, one expresses
How do we use this to our advantage?
How should we address tone without triggering defensiveness?
Describe how it lands, not accuse.
What old pattern are you most committed to not bringing into this restart?
Isolating instead of explaining what I’m feeling
Not being loyal to my own conclusions
How do you want us to handle conflict when we’re doing it right?
Slowly, respectfully, and with curiosity
Understanding that we are not launching an attack on one another
What tone or behavior makes you shut down fastest?
Me unintentionally creating a mood/vibe shift with my mouth
What assumption do you want us to stop making about each other?
That tone equals intent!!!!
What helps you de-escalate fastest?
Physical touch
What does forgiveness look like in real-life behavior—not just words?
Not rehashing resolved issues and allowing room for growth or developing expectational timelines on when change needs to happen
What is one non-negotiable value you want our relationship built on?
Emotional accountability
How should we call out crossed boundaries without escalating?
open discussion
When you’re quiet or distant, what do you most want me to assume?
That I’m overwhelmed, not disengaged
I need physical contact in those moments more than dialog
When one of us is moody, what’s the best first response?
Lay on me
What does “choosing us again” look like on a bad day?
Pausing before reacting and remembering we’re on the same team and not being so loyal to independent conclusions
What does “home” feel like in a relationship to you?
Being imperfect without fear of rejection
What boundary do you need help enforcing, not just stating?
Speaking up when something hurts without the thought of past behavior being the result
How can we remind each other that different needs don’t mean incompatibility?
By saying it out loud during tension
In the moment reassurace
What does repair look like after a conflict?
Acknowledgment, accountability, and reassurance.