Nordic Skiing: History & Going Fast for No Reason
Nordic skiing began as this long before it became a race with spandex and cowbells.
What is basic winter transportation?
This instrument is responsible for 90% of childhood noise complaints and has been found in every millennial’s closet since Grade 4.
Answer: What is the recorder?
This defensive maneuver is used by cyclists when a goose steps onto the path, spreads its wings, and makes eye contact like it’s about to collect a toll.
Answer: What is braking while screaming?
(Accept: “What is an evasive swerve?”)
This landlocked European country has four official languages and more mountain cows than actual flat land.
Answer: What is Switzerland?
Ottawa officially became Canada’s capital in 1857 by the decision of this British monarch.
Queen Victoria
Early Nordic skis were made from this material, proving high performance once meant “did you carve it straight?”
What is wood?
This person at every party insists on being “DJ for just one song,” a statement later proven to be an outrageous lie.
Answer: Who is the aux cord hog?
Cyclists say geese are “unpredictable,” but this scientific term more accurately describes their movement pattern: a straight line toward the exact place you were about to ride.
Answer: What is chaotic evil?
This country has three capital cities, not because it’s extra, but because apparently compromise is a national hobby.
Answer: What is South Africa?
This Ottawa neighbourhood, once an independent village, was annexed by the city in 1887 and is now known for its arts scene.
Hintonburg
This legendary long-distance ski race started in Sweden in 1922 and still convinces people that 90 km is a reasonable idea.
What is the Vasaloppet?
This genre’s lyrics are best described as “I’m sad,” but with the emotional intensity of someone dramatically staring out a rainy window—while wearing headphones in public.
Answer: What is indie music?
This polite cyclist phrase, meant to warn pedestrians, is interpreted by geese as a direct challenge to fight.
Answer: What is ‘on your left’?
This Asian nation is the world’s most mountainous by average elevation—basically the Earth’s “stairs-only gym.”
Answer: What is Bhutan?
This Ottawa building served as the temporary home of Canada’s Parliament after the original Centre Block fire of 1916.
Museum of Nature
This international event turned Nordic skiing into a global competition and made falling on live TV a tradition.
What are the Winter Olympics?
This modern-day phenomenon involves playlists with 100+ songs you’ll never finish, yet you somehow feel like a music curator.
Answer: What is a Spotify playlist you’ll never finish?
the city, reclaim the bike paths, and demote cyclists to “visitors” again.
Answer: What is spring migration?
With over 17,000 islands, this country is the world’s largest archipelago, perfect for anyone who thinks “coastline” is a personality trait.
Answer: What is Indonesia?
The Chateau Laurier hotel is haunted by the ghost of its visionary creater Charles Melville Hays who died due to this tragedy 12 days before the opening of his hotel
Sinking of the Titanic
This Nordic racing discipline combines skiing with stopping to do something that absolutely wrecks your heart rate.
What is biathlon?
This move, performed at weddings by uncles everywhere, involves a dangerous combination of enthusiasm, zero rhythm, and mild regret the next day.
Answer: What is the sprinkler?
(Accept: “The lawnmower.”)
Experts estimate that geese leave behind this many kilograms of “road hazards” per week on major paths—roughly equal to the weight of a mid-sized housecat.
Answer: What is all of them?
(Accept: “What is too much?”)
This European microstate has the world’s highest density of millionaires, implying that its main export might just be vibes and offshore banking.
Answer: What is Monaco?
The city of Ottawa is assessing seven locations for potential exposure to these, a remnant from the Second World War. Hintonburg, being one of the sites.
Unexploded bombs