Conversation Starter
True or False: To be a good talker, you have to be a good listener.
True! Listening shows respect and helps you know what to say next.
A friend accidentally trips you. What is one "Physical Reset" you can do?
deep breaths or slowly count to ten in your head or walk away
Change the way you say "You always ruin everything"
"I feel frustrated when the game rules are changed because I want it to be fair."
How do you ask a friend to stop using a nickname you don't like?
"Hey, I actually don't like that name. Can you just call me [Name] instead?"
What are two things you can say to be a "Good Sport" after losing?
"Good game!" or "That was a really tough play, nice job."
You see a classmate playing with something or making a cool drawing. What is one "opener" sentence you can say to join in?
"That looks awesome, what are you drawing?" or "That looks cool, can I play with you"
What is the difference between "Reacting" and "Responding"?
Reacting is doing the first (often angry) thing that pops into your head. Responding is thinking first.
What is one thing a Real Apology needs besides saying "Sorry"?
Saying exactly what you are sorry for and how you will fix it next time.
What is a polite way to ask to be included in a conversation you missed?
"Wait, I missed that part. What happened with the movie?"
You think the other team is cheating, but the teacher didn't see it. Should you:
A) Start a loud argument immediately?
B) Calmly tell your friend "Let’s just play the next round" and talk to the teacher later?
Choice B: Stay calm, keep playing, and talk to the teacher privately later.
Name three topics you can talk about with almost any 4th grader.
Favorite video games, sports/teams, movies/TV shows, or what they did over the weekend.
You feel like throwing a controller while losing. What can you do instead?
Take a break, take a deep breath, remember it is supposed to be fun!
Suggest a "Compromise" between Tag and Soccer.
"Let’s play Tag for 10 minutes, then Soccer for 10 minutes." or create a new game.
How to tell a friend you need space without hurting feelings?
"I'm having fun, but I just need 5 minutes of quiet time. I'll catch up with you at the swings soon!"
What is a "Ball Hog" and how does it affect the game?
Someone who never passes. It makes others feel bored, left out, and like they don't want to play.
You want to join a group already playing. How do you join without "barging in"?
Wait for a break in the action, make eye contact, and ask "Hey, do you guys have room for one more?"
What can you tell yourself when you are frustrated.
"It’s just a game," "I can stay calm," or "He didn't mean to do that."
What can you say to a friend after you have had an argument?
- "I don't want to fight anymore, can we talk about this?"
- "I'm sorry for my part in the argument. How can we fix this?"
- "Can we start over?"
- "Let’s take a break and try again in five minutes."
What is a "Friendship Boundary"?
A rule that keeps you comfortable (e.g., "I don't like wrestling" or "I don't like it when you treat me that way").
A teammate makes a big mistake. What is something helpful to say?
"Don't worry about it, we'll get 'em next time!" or "Shake it off, you're good."
If a friend says "I went to the zoo," what is a question to continue the conversation?
"What was the coolest animal you saw?" or "Did you go with your family?"
Sometimes it feels like an argument is a "trap" that makes you want to get louder or meaner. Name three ways you can "take a detour" to stop the drama from getting bigger.
- Asking for clarification: "Wait, did you mean to trip me or was that an accident?"
- Walking away: Physically leaving the situation to cool down before you say something mean.
- Taking a "Brain Break": Using a deep breath or a mental reset like the "Remote Control" Pause button to stop yourself from reacting immediately.
Give an example of how to De-escalate when someone says something mean.
Saying "I don't like that" and walking away, or using humor to brush it off instead of insulting back.
How to ask a "Bossy Leader" for a turn to lead?
"You’ve had a great turn leading. Can I try being the captain for this next round?"
If your friend wants to quit because they are losing, what do you do?
Offer to switch teams, change the rules to make it closer, or start a new game everyone enjoys.