Dad Jokes
Why did the scarecrow win an award
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
I’m tall when I’m young, and short when I’m old. What am I?
A candle
Why did the photo go to jail?
It was framed
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener
The more you take away from me, the bigger I get. What am I
A hole
What do you call a belt made out of watches?
A waist of time
What did the ocean say to the beach
Nothing, it just waved
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon
Because she’ll let it go
I’m always in front of you but can’t be seen. What am I
The future
What do you call an alligator in a vest
An investigator
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks
Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long
Because then it’d be a foot
Why did the coffee file a police report
It got mugged
What has to be broken before you can use it?
An egg
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Sneakers
Why did the math book look sad
It had too many problems
Why do bees have sticky hair
Because they use honeycombs
What runs but never walks, has a mouth but never talks?
Your breath
How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut
Why did the stadium get hot after the game
All the fans left