People
There were three men in a boat. It started raining very heavily, but only two got their hair wet. Why?
The third man was bald.
What two keys can't open a door?
Monkey and Donkey.
What is the snake's favorite subject?
Hisssstory.
I am a beer yet kids can drink me and not get drunk. What am I?
Root Beer.
How do Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune make up the solar system?
They plan-et!
Mary's father has five daughters-Nana, Nene, Nini, Nono. What is the fifth daughter's name?
The fifth daughter's name is Mary.
Thanks to me you can see straight through the wall? What am I?
A Window.
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the G!
What did the doctor prescribed to the lemon?
Lemon-aid!
What is the dirtiest word in the world?
Pollution.
Imagine that you are trapped in a small room filled with water upto your neck and the door is locked and no one is around you. What will you do in this situation?
Stop imagining.
What can be caught but never thrown?
Cold.
Where do you put barking dogs?
In a barking lot.
I always try to keep up with mustard and BBQ sauce. Who am I?
Ketchup.
Why don't the bananas snore?
Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
What book does everyone loves to read?
Facebook.
What five letter word becomes shorter when you add two more letters to it?
Short.
What is cheetah's favorite food?
Fast Food!
What kind of vegetable do people look forward to get every month?
Celery (Salary).
Which is more important - the sun or moon?
The moon.
A young boy was rushed into an emergency room but the doctor saw the boy and refused to operate.''This boy is my son'', said the doctor, but the doctor wasn't the boy's father. How could this be?
The doctor was the boy's mom.
What can you make that no one-not even you can see?
Noise.
What is as big as an Elephant but weights nothing?
It's shadow.
What can't we eat before Breakfast?
Lunch and Dinner!
What grows when it eats, but dies when it drinks?
Fire.