It’s a fun thing to do and you devote a significant amount of energy to thinking about it, but you hate knowing that your parents are doing it. What is it?
Facebook.
What do you wrap your mouth around every morning and night that leaves you feeling refreshed?
Toothbrush.
What does a woman have two of that a cow has four of?
Legs.
What’s at least six inches long, goes in your mouth, and is more fun when it vibrates?
An electric toothbrush.
Some people prefer being on top, others prefer being on the bottom, and it always involves a bed. What is it?
A bunk bed.
I’m great for protection. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I?
Gloves.
Name a word that starts with “f” and ends with “u-c-k”?
Firetruck!
I start with a “p” and end with “o-r-n.” I’m a major player in the film industry. What am I?
Popcorn.
What’s made of rubber, handed out at some schools, and exists to prevent mistakes?
Erasers.
What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?
Toothpaste.
I assist with erections. Sometimes, giant balls hang from me. I’m known as a big swinger. What am I?
A crane.
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste.
I come in a lot of different sizes. Sometimes, I drip a little. If you blow me, it feels really good. What am I?
Your nose.
You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. What am I?
A tent.
I’m the highlight of many dates. I’m especially responsive when you put your fingers deep inside me. What am I?
A bowling ball.
What’s beautiful and natural, but gets prickly if it isn’t trimmed regularly?
The lawn.
What four-letter word begins with “f” and ends with “k,” and if you can’t get it you can always just use your hands?
A fork.
All day long it’s in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?
An elevator.
What three-letter word starts with an “s,” ends with “x,” and has a vowel in the middle?
Six.
When I go in, I can cause some pain. I’ll fill your holes when you ask me to. I also ask that you spit and not swallow. What am I?
Your dentist.
What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A seatbelt.
Sometimes a finger goes inside me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?
Your wedding ring.
What is soft and wet on the inside while hard and hairy on the outside? The word begins with “c,” ends in “t,” and there’s a “u” and an “n” between them.
A coconut.
I go in hard, come out soft, and you love to blow me. What am I?
Chewing gum.
I’m spread out before being eaten. Your tongue gets me off. Sometimes people lick my nuts. What am I?
Peanut butter.