Funny
What is faster, hot or cold?
You can catch a cold, so hot is definitely faster.
You live in a one-story house made of redwood. What color are the stairs?
There aren't any stairs. It's a one-story house!
Turn me on my side and I'm everything. Cut me in half and I'm nothing. What am I?
The number 8.
What begins and ends with an E but only has one letter?
An envelope.
Sometimes they're green, sometimes they're brown, and both of these times make me frown. But in between, for a little while, they're perfect and yellow and make me smile. What are they?
Bananas.
What kind of running also means walking?
Running out of gas
I have two newly minted coins in my pocket. One isn't a nickel, but they total 30 cents. What are the coins?
A quarter and a nickel — one isn’t a nickel but the other is.
What word has three double letters in a row?
Bookkeeper.
What building has the most stories?
The library.
Imagine you're in the forest, surrounded by ravenous, man-eating wolves. How do you put an end to this terrible situation?
Stop imagining it.
How can a man who shaves many times a day still have a long beard?
He’s a barber.
What kind of band doesn’t play music?
A rubber band.
What is unusual about the following words: revive, banana, grammar, voodoo, assess, potato, dresser, uneven?
If you put the first letter of each word at the end instead, it will spell the same word backward.
Give me food, and I will live. Give me water, and I will die. What am I?
Fire.
There's a power outage and the lights go out. It's pitch black, but you have one match on you. Do you light the candle, the oil lamp, or the fire first?
You light the match first.
How far can a bear run into the woods?
Halfway. After that, he’s running out of the woods.
I'm not psychic, but I can always predict the score of any baseball game before it starts. How do I do this?
The score is always zero to zero before the game starts!
What is unique about the number 8,549,176,320?
Each number, zero through nine, is listed in alphabetical order.
What can you hold in your right hand but not in your left?
Your left elbow.
What is yours, but everyone else you know uses it?
You name.
Which side of a chicken has more feathers?
The outside.
A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Mexico. Where are the survivors buried?
You don't bury survivors!
Using the following clues, can you name the three playing cards placed in a row? There is a two to the right of a king. A diamond will be found to the left of a spade. An ace is to the left of a heart. A heart is to the left of a spade.
Ace of diamonds, king of hearts, and two of spades.
What runs through cities and towns, forests and fields, but never moves?
A road.
What word's first two letters signify a man, first three letters signify a woman, first four letters signify a great man, while the whole word signifies a great woman?
Heroine.