Jokes
What kind of music did George Washington like?
Well, he loved his country.
What kind of pants does it ghost wear?
A paranormal pants.
What do you call it when a telescope and a microscope collide?
A kaleidoscope
Why wasn’t Hide and Seek added as an event in the Olympics?
Good players are hard to find!
Why did the square become a circle?
Because it cut corners.
What did one tonsil say to the other?
Put on your party dress- I hear the doctor’s taking us out tonight.
What do you call a nose without a body?
Nobody knows
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer!
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him.
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk
What happened to the butcher who backed into his meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
Why does Norwegian Navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?
So when they get back to #PORT they can Scandinavian
What happened to the kid whose entire left side was cut off?
He is all right now.
How do you circumcise a whale?
With four skin divers
What do you call a person who eats other people slowly?
A Cannibble
What do you call somebody who is not a dad, but tells dad jokes?
A Faux Pa
What's the correct response to the question: what is the difference between ignorance and apathy?
"I don't know" and, "I don't care"
What's blue and smells like red paint?
Blue paint
How do you get to the weight room at Hogwarts?
Through the Dumbell door
What did Harry Potter say when he filled up his gas tank?
Expensive petroleum!
What did Yoda say when he saw himself on a 4K TV?
H D M I
What did the banana say to the dog?
Nothing. Bananas don’t talk!
What do you call a teacher who will not fart in public?
A private tooter.