Day 1: Why the pain?
This concept reframes addiction from a choice to something else.
What is a way to cope / survive?
What is an adaptation to pain?
As kids, we all needed this from our caregivers.
What is love / safety / connection?
The main question here is: “What was I trying to _____?”
What is survive?
This self is who you were before survival strategies.
What is the authentic self?
Addiction is not a moral failure, but this.
What is an adaptation/survival skills?
Instead of asking “why the addiction,” we ask this question.
What is “what was I dealing with?” / “why the pain?”
When needs go unmet, it can lead to this.
What is addiction / unhealthy coping?
This skill is the ability to sit with discomfort without escaping.
What is sitting with it / distress tolerance?
This self develops to survive unsafe environments.
What is the adapted self?
The “hunger” beneath addiction often points to this.
Addiction “worked” because it did this for the person.
What is helped me cope / numb / escape / feel better / meet a need?
Name one way people learned to survive growing up. (Adaptations)
People-pleasing / shutting down / staying quiet / being “perfect”
This DBT concept means accepting reality as it is.
What is Radical Acceptance?
Name one example of an adapted self behavior.
People-pleasing / aggression / perfectionism / shutdown
This skill helps you observe without judgment.
What is mindfulness?
This feeling says “I’m the problem/I am bad” and keeps people stuck.
What is shame?
These emotions were often “not allowed” in childhood homes.
What are anger, sadness, fear, vulnerability (any valid)
Compassionate inquiry is NOT this (opposite style).
What is interrogation / forcing answers / judgment?
This shows up when you act like who you think people want you to be instead of who you actually are.
What is the adapted self?
The adapted self was originally this.
What is a survival strategy?
If your addiction was survival/adaptation… what does that say about you?
hat I was doing my best / trying to get through something
Apply it: Substances became a substitute for this unmet need.
What is connection / safety / comfort / feeling okay?
Apply it: If you identify the need under addiction, what changes?
You can meet the need in healthy ways
Apply it: What happens when you live from the authentic self?
Healthier relationships / alignment / self-respect
Complete the cycle: Pain → ______ → Addiction → Recovery → ______
Adaptation → Authentic Self
Survival → Meeting needs in healthy ways