Empathy
Why is being able to see a situation from someone else’s point of view an example of thinking flexibly?
Because you have to think outside your own experience and realize that there is more than one way to feel or think about a situation.
Your math sheet is really hard, and you are getting very frustrated! What are two strategies that you could try to cool down?
Stop and Stay Cool; breathe deeply; count; use self‑talk; use the Settle‑Down Jar; take a break; or go to the Thinking Spot.
Tell about a recent time that you used a focus strategy; what was it, and how did it help?
. Use active listening, limit distractions, have your eyes on the speaker or task, use self‑talk, have a plan with a goal, and take notes.
A classmate spills your drink, so you scribble on his paper. What are two conflict solvers that you both could try?
Apologize, laugh it off, talk it out, ignore once, and make amends (clean up the spill and help fix the scribbled paper).
Oops! You did not stop and think, and you laughed when your friend read a word wrong. What are two ways that you could try to make amends?
Apologize, talk it out, or make amends (do something kind to make it up to your friend).
What is an example of how empathy helps you to be a better friend?
If my friend feels embarrassed, using empathy means that I take the time to understand how my friend feels so I can be more supportive and caring
How would you know that you are at a 5 in anger on the Feelings Thermometer?
I would feel my face getting hot or red; I would clench my teeth or fists; I would feel tense all over; I would have a funny feeling in my stomach.
What are two strategies you use to keep from blurting out and interrupting in school?
Think about the Cool Rule, use active listening, press your lips together, use self‑talk, and Stop and Stay Cool.
A classmate cuts in front of you at the water fountain, where you have been waiting for a long time. What “I” Message could you give?
I feel angry because I have been waiting for a long time and you have not.
You want to make friends with someone new to your class. What is an example of an open‑ended question that you could ask?
What are some of your favorite movies? What kinds of games do you like to play at recess?
Describe a time when someone showed you empathy. What did that person do and say?
When I dropped my tray, a classmate said he had just done that and he knew how I felt. Then he helped me clean it up.
Your teammate is so frustrated with his clay project! What strategies can you suggest that he try to cool down?
He could take a break, he could try deep breathing and counting, he could try self‑talk to calm down, or he could try Stop and Stay Cool.
If you had to memorize all the different bones in your leg—the femur, patella, tibia, and fibula—what is one memory strategy that you could use?
Make sure I understand all the words and ask questions if I do not; create a reminder word; repeat what I need to remember; make up a mind movie, song, or story; connect new information with what I already know; and group like words and sounds together.
If you were so mad that you wanted to shove your classmate, what could you do to help yourself stop and think?
I could use self‑talk to make myself stop; I could use Stop and Stay Cool; I could put my hands in my pockets; I could breathe deeply or count.
What are three qualities that are very important in a friend and why?
Accept reasonable responses.
What would you teach to a space alien who did not know the three steps of empathy?
1. Think about how the other person feels.
2. Think about a time when you felt that way.
3. Say or do something to show that you care.
What are your two best cool‑down strategies, and when could you use them in school?
Use Stop and Stay Cool. • Take slow, deep breaths. • Take a break. • Use self-talk to calm myself down. • Go to theThinking Spot. •
What are two traits that a hammer, a car, and a magnet all have in common?
They all contain metal; they are all nouns; they are all useful tools that help people; they all have an A in the word; they are all hard; they all rust.
What is an example of a compromise that you might make with a student in our classroom?
You can have my turn on the computer if I can have your cookie at lunch.
Act out an appropriate apology (a teammate can be the hurt friend).
Make sure the student follows the four steps of a good apology: 1. Speak clearly. 2. Make eye contact. 3. Say the person’s name. 4. Say exactly what you are sorry for.
The space alien landed on Earth by accident, and she is homesick! What could you do or say to show her empathy?
I could think about a time when I felt lonely or missed my home and family, and then tell her that I know how she feels. If we play a game, maybe she would cheer up.
Why is this question an example of flexible thinking?
Because it requires you to push your brain to think beyond your first understanding of each word. You have to look at each word in a new and unusual way.
A good friend laughs at your new haircut. What “I” Message could you give to your friend?
I feel hurt because you laughed at my hair instead of trying to be kind.
Your best friend beats you in the spelling bee finals and gets a big trophy. You feel jealous. What are two strategies that you could try to feel better?
Use self‑talk to remind myself that I am a very good speller who almost won; use self‑talk to remind myself that this feeling will go away soon; use stop and think strategies, such as button my lips so I do not say something I regret; use empathy to think about how happy my friend is; and take a break from my friend until the feeling goes away.