Freshman
"Anyone would be LUCKY to be Colonel Sanders's special sauce"
Lily, 2022
"There's a pepper shortage in America. Dammit Biden."
Owen Penton
"Cosenza is like my papa smurf"
Erol
"Sooo... what are everyone's plans for the rapture?"
Miss Tori Zerkus
"my last thought before I die very well may be those Japanese were weird"
Mr. Cosenza
"I didn't kick him, he ran nuts first into my foot"
Abby, 2022
"My brother wouldn't wake up so I punched him in the face"
Damien Garrison
"My fursona is the italian car from Cars but twelve months pregnant"
Erol
"The only thing I know in Spanish is sionara"
Brett Volesky
"If Sharktopus doesn't have nipples then what's the point?"
Yasi
"You ever have those days when you're going down stairs for some Nilla wafers and BAM there's a live possum?"
Tori, 2023
"Your saliva is freezing on Harry Styles' corpse in my fridge next to the frozen french fries"
Yasi Lawrence
"A guy said I framed him for biting him which I did so I pushed him into a beehive"
Luke Speller
"I love everything about him except his personality"
Gracie Schuler
"The cult circle was busting a nut!"
Brett Volesky
"In case y'all were wondering, my dog is no longer a virgin"
Tori, 2023
"He looks like a little Irish boy coming to steal your leprechauns with guns"
Reese Osburne
"Little Italy is ruled by Little Caesar. Pizza Pizza"
Abby Lagoy
"Let's compare everyone's discharge pH"
Tori Zerkus
"If they just didn't ban alcohol in the 20's the Great Depression would have been the Great Fiesta"
Lily
"I will pay you two bucks not to have children"
Abby, 2023
"Are you the president of Stupidland? You should be, when's the election?"
Gracie
"I used to have two turtles but then I got bored"
Owen Penton
"The little mermaid was so good I wish gay people were real"
Nico Edwards
"The three men I admire most: Rumple Goocher, the buttfuckler, and the rizzler"
Reese. Osburne.