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What are two things you never eat for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner
Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain?
Mt. Everest, it was just not found yet
How many months in the year have 28 days?
All of them
What always goes to sleep with shoes on?
A horse
Forwards I am heavy, backwards I am not. What am I?
Ton
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot
How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?
There is no dirt because it is a hole.
A man goes out in heavy rain with nothing to protect him from it. His hair doesn't get wet. How does he do that?
Hes bald
If two is company and three is a crowd, what is four and five?
Its 9 duh
What is red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint
What do Alexander The Great and Winnie The Pooh have in common?
The same middle name
What is able to travel around the globe, but stays in a corner the whole time?
A stamp
What part of the chicken has the most feathers?
The outside
Jim is is six feet tall, he works at a butcher's, and he wears size ten shoes.
What does he weigh?
What begins with the letter P, finishes with the letter E and has over a thousand letters in it?
Post Office
What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
Short
You cannot keep this until you have given it. What is it?
A promise
What goes up and down but never moves?
Stairs
What starts with an E, ends with an E and only has one letter in it?
An envelope
What has 3 letters and start with gas?
A car
Two children are born on the same day by the same mother but they are not twins. How is that possible?
there was a third one, they were triplets
What animal turns about 200 times around its axis after it dies?
A roast chicken
Ten ladies tried to fit under a small umbrella, none of them got wet. How did they do it?
It wasnt raining
Two coins add up to 30 cents and one of them isn't a nickel. What are they?
A quarter and a nickel. The quarter isn't a nickel.
Why would a lady living in New Zealand never be buried in Australia?
Because she is living :/