Triggers
What are triggers (definition)?
Something that provokes an UNWANTED emotion or bx
What are the 3 different types of boundaries?
Healthy, rigid, porous
What is consent? (Definition)
Voluntarily agreeing to something
Define what red flags are
Bad traits of a person
Define green flags
Good traits of a person
What is an example of an emotional trigger?
feeling judged, being ignored, feeling overwhelmed, financial stress, feeling unsafe, etc.
What are some characteristics of healthy boundaries?
Selective of who to let in and keep out.
Takes time to build trust.
Able to say "no" when needed
Communicates assertively
ETC
Can you withdraw consent at any time?
YES. You can stop doing something at any time.
Y or N:
If I am a good looking person, have money, and have my own place. However, I have 2 felonies and have a restraining order against me from previous significant other. Am I a good match?
NO
Could your values influence the type of person you let in?
Monet decides
What are some examples of physical triggers?
Loud noises, physical touch, fatigue, crowded spaces, certain smells, etc.
What are some characteristics of rigid boundaries?
Keeps most people at a distance
very untrusting
very guarded w/ personal info
Detached from others
Communicates aggressively
If someone says "Maybe", does that mean convince me?
NO. It means they are unsure. So respect their decision.
What are some ways of dealing with red flag people?
Setting strict boundaries.
BLOCKEDT.
Ending the relationship.
ETC
What are some examples of green flags?
Philanthropist, treats people kindly, cares about others, listens to you talk, provides comfort and safe space, etc.
This skill can help you focus on the present moment while making you feel relaxed.
Grounding Techniques, mindfulness
What are characteristics of porous boundaries?
Lets almost anyone get close to them
Overly trusting of others
Overshares
Overly involved in others problems
Communicates passively
If I tell someone yes and agree beforehand, but then when it comes down to it I say no. Am I obligated to still do something?
NO! You can change your mind at anytime.
What are some questions to ask yourself if they are a good match?
Is my relationship the only important one in my life?
Do you feel good about yourself?
Can you both accept changes in roles and feelings within the relationship?
ETC
If someone constantly shows green flags, are there possible hidden red flags?
Yes, possibility.
What are some ways that you can support others when they are being triggered?
Provide empathy, allow space, etc
What are ways to implementing your boundaries?
Communicating them.
Standing on business.
Saying "no", and sticking to it.
ETC
Joel goes to a party with his friends. Joel is excited and antsy about going to this party because Nancy is going to be there. Joel drinks a 3 beers before going up to Nancy. They start chatting with one another, and end up sneaking off to Nancy's car. While in the car, things start to escalate and they engage in sexual activity. Joel makes sure this is something Nancy wants to do. She agrees and says yes.
Are they both consenting?
NO! Joel is intoxicated. If you are under the influence, you cannot give consent.
Identify different manipulation tactics
Gaslighting
Blackmailing
Coercion
Silent Treatment
ETC
Name someone in your life who shows green flags, and provide examples. (Monet Decides)
Monet decides