Signs of Abuse
Name three types of abuse that can happen in a dating relationship.
EMOTIONAL ABUSE - a person tries to control your feelings or frequently behaves in ways that cause you to feel afraid, inferior, or ashamed.
PHYSICAL ABUSE - a person physically injures you in any way
SEXUAL ABUSE - a person crosses your physical boundaries, does not respect consent, forces you to do anything you're not comfortable with, doesn't respect your "no"
FINANCIAL ABUSE - A person controls your resources or takes advantage of you being reliant on them for resources
VERBAL ABUSE - A person calls you names, threatens you, yells frequently with the intent to intimidate, etc.
Describe a healthy boundary to have with your parent or guardian.
Example
These are five ways to start a conversation with someone you've just met.
What is... (could be these or others!)
-Find a mutual interest
-Start with a compliment
-Offer to help with something
-Ask them to show you something - a skill, something they're working on
-Share something appropriately funny
-Just ask their name and how they're doing today!
This means not doing something with or to someone unless they've explicitly given you the okay.
Consent
A disagreement about beliefs, ideas, or interests
conflict
How might a person's behavior with friends and family change if that person is in a controlling/abusive dating relationship?
Isolation
Irritability
Less time spent with loved ones/excessive time spent with partner
Frequently defending partner's behavior to loved ones
Skipping normal activities to be with partner instead
Depression and anxiety
Name three kinds of boundaries a person might have with other people.
PHYSICAL - how close people stand, whether or not we are touched
EMOTIONAL - how people are allowed to treat us
TIME- how much of our time others can use so we have privacy and time for ourselves too
VERBAL - what people can call us or how they can talk to us
Wearing what other classmates wear, trying smoking because someone else does
Peer pressure
This is the definition of refusal skills.
REFUSAL SKILLS are ways that we practice of saying "no" or opting out of situations that make us uncomfortable.
Talking about a conflict and reaching a compromise
negotiation
Define codependency.
A person who has let another person's behavior affect him/her, and is obsessed with controlling that person behavior
Name three things you should not do to another person without asking.
Physical/intimate contact of any kind
Hugging - depends on your relationship to the person
Pick up their belongings/touch their stuff
Adults - address them by their first name
______________ means working together for the common good.
Cooperation
Active choice not to participate in high-risk behaviors
Abstinence
Opinion or fear formed without facts
prejudice
Explain some reasons why people in abusive relationships do not always seek help or try to leave.
Fear of consequences - physical or otherwise
Fear of judgment from others
Mixed feelings towards the partner - fear and discomfort do not always "delete" the love we feel for someone
Financial dependence
Fear of not being believed
Explain or demonstrate an appropriate response when someone violates a physical boundary with you.
Example
These are the differences between showing SYMPATHY and showing EMPATHY. (Explain or give an example)
SYMPATHY - "Sorry you're having a bad day"
"Wow, that really sucks!"
"My day was horrible, too, if that makes you feel better. Here's what happened to me.."
EMPATHY - "I can understand how upsetting that would be."
"I can't imagine how hard this is for you, but I can see you're really hurting."
SYMPATHY is feeling sorry for. Empathy is understanding WITH.
This is an example of how not using refusal skills could create problems.
Could be many examples ...
Confusion around relationship rules
Involvement in dangerous activities and trouble that comes from it
Loss of confidence in your own ability to choose
When each side gives a little in order to resolve a conflict, the two parties are ______________.
compromising
List three signs a person may be emotionally controlling.
Expecting excessive amounts of your time
Jealous behaviors - not comfortable with you talking to other people
Lots of "rules" on a relationship - who you can talk to, where you can go
Invasion of privacy - looking at or asking to look at your texts, messages, personal journal, etc.
Comments and behavior that makes you feel worse about yourself - this can be a way to control
Name one way we could violate someone else's boundaries using social media.
Posting a photo of them they didn't give permission to post.
Sending excessive messages
Initiating a sexual or inappropriate conversation the other person did not indicate they wanted to be part of
Posting information in your feed about someone that they would not want shared
These are three personality traits that matter in a friend.
Could be any, including..
Loyalty
Reliability
Honesty
Empathy
Kindness
This is a refusal strategy that reminds us to
Say no firmly,
Tell why,
Offer ideas,
& promptly leave.
The S.T.O.P. strategy.
____________ is the ability to accept others as they are.
Tolerance