Communication
What is a sign that you are communicating in a healthy way with your partner?
Both people felt respected and "heard"
Both people trust each other enough to be honest about their thoughts/feelings
Ask them about their preferred communication style (phone calls? texting? in person?)
Past issues/conflicts aren't brought up over and over again to make the other person feel guilty
Check in with yourself after you and your significant other have had an argument or difficult conversation. Does the situation feel resolved?
Your partner gets really angry when you spend time with your friends instead of them.
True or False: This may be a warning sign of an unhealthy relationship.
True. Jealousy is a normal feeling to have, but spending time with your friends shouldn't make your significant other angry.
Your partner wants to eat lunch with you every single day. You have asked them to back off since you enjoy spending time with your friends at lunch. They suggest eating together on Tuesdays/Thursdays and with friends the other days. Is this a boundary violation?
No, because you both communicated your boundaries and a compromise was suggested.
True or False: Most students date in middle school.
False.
What is a sign that you are not communicating in a healthy way with your partner?
Yelling
Name calling
Feeling like things are unresolved
Feelings of distrust
True or False: Conflict in a relationship is the same thing as fighting.
False
Fighting is generally unhealthy in relationships because it often includes yelling, name calling, and not listening to what the other person is saying.
*Conflict can be a healthy aspect of a relationship. When conflict happens and you have a disagreement, it's important to respect one another's boundaries, listen, respond respectfully, and not let it turn into fighting.
You partner keeps blowing up your Snapchat. You are at a family dinner and respond by saying you can't talk right now. Your partner continues to send you a message every few minutes. Is this a boundary violation?
Yes, it is.
You made it clear that you were with family and couldn't talk and the partner did not respect that. If these boundary violations continued, this might be an unhealthy relationship.
When should you have a conversation with your partner about boundaries?
A. After you have dated for at least 1 month.
B. Very early in the relationship.
C. After a boundary violation has happened.
D. All the above.
D. All the above.
You and your partner have been hanging out for awhile. You regularly hold hands and sit next to each other. You're interested in kissing them. How can you check-in and make sure this won't violate their boundaries?
"Can I kiss you?"
"Would it be alright if we have our first kiss?"
"I'd like to kiss you..." Wait and see how they respond.
Lean in a little and stop. Only kiss them if they also lean in.
Ask in a goofy way!
What are three things you can do to keep a conflict from turning into an unhealthy fight?
-Respect the boundaries of the other person
-Listen to what they are saying
-Don't raise your voice
-No name calling
-Work together to come up with a solution or compromise
-Suggest taking a 5 minute break and coming back to talking.
Your partner keeps wanting to hold your hand in the hallway as you are walking to class. This makes you uncomfortable because you aren't really into PDA (public displays of affection) and you feel like everyone is staring at you. What is something you could say to your partner to let them know they are violating your boundaries?
"I feel like everyone is staring when we hold hands and it makes me feel uncomfortable."
"I am not really into PDA so I'd rather not hold hands on the way to class"
"Holding hands on the way to class is violating my personal boundaries"
"Hey, I like when we hold hands sometimes, but it makes me uncomfortable to do it at school. Could we save that for outside school?"
"You probably don't know this about me, but I am actually not very comfortable with PDA. Could we stop holding hands at school?"
What is the name of one resource/person you can go to if you or a friend have questions about relationships?
Respecting Boundaries Agreement, School Counselor, Youth Service Center, Teacher, Parents, Any trusted adult, Crisis Text Line (text START to 741741), loveisrespect.org