Communication
Name 3 different ways most humans communicate.
Verbal communication or sign language
Body language
written communication
What are personal boundaries?
Personal boundaries are the physical, emotional, and sexual limits that you create for yourself.
Setting these boundaries allows you to decide what you do and do not want to have happen in your relationships
They can help keep you safe and act as a guideline/expectation for how you want to be treated in your relationships
It is important that you respect other people’s boundaries as well!
What is consent?
Consent: "permission for something to happen or agreement to do something"
- Your consent is…
Based on choice, freely given, ongoing, can be withdrawn at anytime
Define conflict
“A disagreement, or a difference of opinion, between people or groups.”
–Canadian Red Cross
We experience conflict all the time!
Minor – a friend wants to borrow something, and we don’t want to share it.
Major – things that can threaten to rip relationships apart.
If conflict is a natural part of relationships and can ruin a relationship if handled poorly, then we must know how to resolve conflict as well.
The Club!
The Club is a FREE drop-in center for youth aged 12-17. There is free books, snacks, games such as ping pong, pool, arcade basketball, Xbox, PlayStation, Nintendo Switch, and more!
Name 2 examples of conflict resolution skills.
There are skills that we can use to be more understanding, positive, and respectful of others’ feelings
1. Asking open-ended questions: ask how or what questions that allow the other person to elaborate on their feelings or experiences
2. Paraphrasing: Use your own words to repeat someone’s statement back to them. This can help the other person know that you really heard what they were saying.
3.Reframing: Use phrases to help someone see a situation differently, or help them take a new perspective on something
4. Clarification: Ask different questions to gain more information about how someone feels or an experience they had
What is a warning sign of an unhealthy relationship?
-Ignoring the person’s feelings and wishes
-Name-calling
-Tease or ridicule the person about things that are important to them
-Disrespect private information or secrets
-Tell the person how to look or dress
-Keep the person away from friends or family
-Sulk, show anger, or threaten suicide/self-harm when they don’t get their way
-Refuse to except boundaries and limitations
-Constantly interrogate the person on where they were, and who they were with
-Check the person’s phone without their knowledge
-Act jealous and accuse the other person of cheating
When can consent NOT be given? Give 2 examples.
Your consent cannot be given…
○By anyone but you
○If the person is in a position of trust or authority (e.g., coach, camp counsellor, teacher)
○If someone threatens you or uses force
○If you express in words or actions a lack of agreement (e.g., saying no, moving away)
○If you are incapable of consenting (e.g., you are intoxicated, unconscious, etc.)
How do you define a healthy relationship?
Connections with other people that feature qualities like trust, respect, equality, privacy, support, shared decision-making, understanding, communication, consent, honesty, responsibility, accountability, listening, kindness, boundaries, non-judgment, safety, reciprocity, and healthy conflict. People who are in healthy relationships often feel safe, seen, respected, valued, and appreciated for who they are (Planned Parenthood, n.d.).
You are in a relationship and you go to a party. At this party you and your partner talk to other people. One conversation they have with their ex lasts quite a while. At the end of the night you both leave this party. On the walk back you ask your partner if they had fun and they did. You ask them about their ex and they say they were just talking about their mutual friends. You mention you didn't feel great about seeing them talk alone and you would like to be around for those conversations if they are okay with it. They say they are and you continue walking home.
Is this a healthy or toxic relationship?
This is a healthy relationship. Trust, communication, and boundaries were all respected in this scenario.
There is 4 styles of communication - name 2 of them!
(Hint: Sarcasm fits into one of these styles...)
Assertive: Direct eye contact, conversational tone of voice, clear voice that is neither too quiet nor too loud, “open” posture: standing or sitting up straight, relaxed arms and hands, feet apart
Passive: Downcast eyes, quiet voice, hesitation to speak, “closed” posture: slouching, arms crossed, hands clenched, legs crossed or tight together
Passive Aggressive: Body language and verbal communication do not match. (i.e., person says they are okay, but their face looks angry)
Aggressive: Loud voice or yelling, pointing a finger at someone, glaring, looking down at someone, invading someone’s personal space, name-calling
What percent of youth talk to their friends about dating violence?
67%.
Helping a friend who is experiencing dating violence can be very difficult! Let them know that:
•It is NOT their fault! They did not ask to be hurt and they do NOT deserve it
•Help is available. They do NOT have to go through this alone!
•They deserve to have others support them
•There is no RIGHT way to feel, our reactions are our own.
What is the legal age of consent in Canada?
Short answer: 16
What is the difference between empathy and sympathy?
[insert empathy video?]
Sympathy means to feel pity, or feel bad for someone because of their misfortune, but maintaining an emotional distance
Empathy involves understanding and sharing another person's feelings, essentially "feeling with" that person, or "stepping into their shoes".
While sympathy acknowledges suffering, empathy creates a deeper, shared emotional connection.
You are flirting with someone and you put your arm around them. They go quiet and look away. How would you react, and how could you have asked for consent?
Example: I really hope you are enjoying talking as much as I am. Would you be comfortable with me putting my arm around you?
Name 3 types of communication?
Verbal: What you say
Non-Verbal: How you say it, body language, facial expressions, eye contact, gestures
Written: text-based
What is an example of a tactic you can use in an uncomfortable situation or conflict? Use it in an example.
Example Scenario: “I promised to hang out with Emily but Pedro asked me to forget about Emily and hang out with him instead”
1. Refusal: "Sorry, Pedro I would love to hang out but I already agreed to hang out with Emily and we have been planning this for a long time."
2. Delay: "Maybe we can hang out later if Emily and I decide to finish early?"
3. Negotiation: "I can’t today but how about Saturday instead"
What are the two types of consent?
Verbal Consent:
- Saying "yes" or using your words to give consent.
- BONUS: Written consent
Physical Consent:
- Using body language and gestures, such as sign language to give consent
- Examples: Nodding your head yes, kissing someone back, moving closer to someone
What is coercion? Is this a form of consent?
Persuading someone to do something by using force or threats.
No, this does NOT count as consent...
Remember, your consent is based on choice, freely given, ongoing, can be withdrawn at anytime. Consent given under pressure, threat, blackmail, etc, is not consent!
You are not sure if your friend is mad at you. You ask them, and they reply with "I'm fine.", while crossing their arms and making angry expressions. What form of communication is this?
Passive-Aggressive communication
What does assertive communication entail? Use an example.
Assertive communication shows empathy, is assertive, and is respectful.
The formula:
"I feel..." "When you..." "I wish that / Could you please..." "How do you feel about that?"
This formula gives you a chance to express your feelings, the cause of your feelings, a chance for you to offer a solution, and then giving the other person a chance to be assertive as well.
What are some examples of reasons it might be hard to say no no somebody?
-You feel attracted to them
-They have authority over you
-This person is intimidating or unaccepting of your denial
According to Canadian Law, youth (under 18) that are of the legal age of consent cannot have sexual relationships with people who are in a position of power, trust, or authority over them.
What is an example of someone who has power? Why do they have power?
Teachers, bosses, law enforcement, coaches, pastor, trusted community figure, etc. Lots of people have power!
Reasons people may have power include their position, age, physical size, popularity, and their words/actions.
What are emotions? Are they conscious or unconscious?
a conscious mental reaction (such as anger or fear) subjectively experienced as a strong feeling usually directed toward a specific object and typically accompanied by physiological and behavioral changes in the body
"my older brother wants me to break cerfew. I have not seen him in a while and he wants me to go out to a movie with him. When I told him I couldn't go he called me a coward."
What might you do in this situation?
-Explain why
-Plan for another time that doesn't break curfew
-Ask him to come over for a stay at home movie night
-You could also try discussing curfew with your mom if this is something you also wanted to do