Halloween
Why don’t mummies go on vacation?
Because they’re afraid they’ll unwind.
What do you call a skeleton who won’t work?
Lazy bones.
Why did the turkey join the band?
Because it had the drumsticks.
Why don’t turkeys ever get in trouble?
Because they always gobble up their homework.
Why was the math book so excited for Christmas?
Because it finally found its X-mas.
What’s a vampire’s least favorite class?
History — too many stakes in the past.
Why did Dracula go to art school?
He wanted to learn how to draw blood.
Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive?
It had 24 carrots.
What happens when you’re too harsh on cranberries?
They turn into blueberry bruises.
What do you call Santa when he takes a break?
Santa Pause.
Why did the ghost get straight A’s?
Because he was a real “spirit” of learning.
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
What sound does a turkey’s phone make?
“Wing, wing!”
Why did the scarecrow win an award on Thanksgiving?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
It needed a trim.
How do you fix a broken jack-o’-lantern?
With a pumpkin patch.
Why don’t zombies eat clowns?
They taste funny.
Why did the pilgrims sail on the Mayflower?
Because they missed the gravy boat.
What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
The tur-key.
What do you call an elf who sings?
A wrapper.
Why don’t graveyards ever get overcrowded?
Because people are just dying to get in.
Why did the werewolf go to detention?
Because he had a hairy attitude. 🐺
What’s a turkey’s favorite dessert?
Peach gobbler.
Why did the turkey sit at the drum set during Thanksgiving dinner?
Because he wanted to play the stuffing out of it.
Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
He was picking his nose.