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Saying No When Our Culture Says Yes
Fact or Myth: Self-Esteem
Strategies That Can Help with Self-Esteem
Parenting Styles
Miscellaneous
100
This happens when kids are programmed to think that every thing will be easy and fun
What is they grow up feeling a deep sense of entitlement.
100
Self-Esteem comes first and leads to achievement and better relationships
What is Myth - Actually success comes first and leads to a healthier self-esteem. When children are successful, they feel more satisfied with life and good about themselves. They are also better at forming friendships and get along better with others.
100
The set of all opinions a person has about himself
What is self-esteem or self-concept? It is based on experiences as well as praise or criticisms.
100
Permissive, Authoritarian, Balanced
What are three styles of parenting?
100
True or False - I should never apologize to my children.
What is FALSE? We all make mistakes - big and small. If an apology is needed, offer it. Always work to repair relationships.
200
perseverance, patience, commitment, determination, and diligence
What are the virtues kids learn when we learn to say "no" to our children?
200
Feeling good about something is the same as having good self-esteem. My child should be protected from all things that make him feel bad.
What is Myth - A healthy self-esteem and feeling good about oneself are two separate things. If we do not allow our children to experience feeling bad, they will not truly know what it is like to feel good. If we protect our children so much that we do not let them experience failure, we are keeping them from experiencing things that will truly build their self-esteem.
200
Our ability to deal with difficulties and setbacks in our lives.
What is resiliency? When kids are allowed to deal with small setbacks as they grow up they will be better equipped to handle larger failures, mistakes and losses in their lives when they are older. Children who are shielded from all things negative or difficult miss out on the opportunity to develop resiliency.
200
Rigid rules No Negotiation Only parents' opinions count Emphasis on conformity Autocratic leadership Strict enforcement
What are the characteristics of an authoritarian parenting style? Let's think - Do you know anyone who parents in this manner? What could be the positives of this type of parenting style? What could be the negatives about this parenting style?
200
This part of the brain is constantly growing and rewiring through childhood, the teenage years, and into the 20s or even 30s.
What is the prefrontal cortex? The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that manages our impulses and helps in planning and thinking ahead. Because this part of the brain continues to grow, we must help teens "put on the brakes" by setting limits, and being clear and consistent about expectations and consequences.
300
Limit your child's media exposure to about two hours a day or less for children aged 2 and older.
What is one way to say No in a Yes Culture?
300
It is ok for my children to experience stress, challenge and disappointment.
What is FACT - We cannot protect our children from everything bad. Mild stress, challenges and mistakes help kids learn and grow. Sometimes kids just need to be able to figure out things for themselves. When children experience setbacks, they are actually building character and self-esteem. They are building resources to cope with life's challenges. If you protect your child from everything negative or disappointing, he will not have the skills as an adult to cope with disappointments and setbacks.
300
Saying, "Please walk" instead of "Don't run" Saying, "Use your inside voice" instead of "Don't yell" Saying, "Keep your hands to yourself" instead of "Don't hit"
What are ways to say "no" in a positive manner?
300
Few rules Few consequences Limited or erratic leadership All opinions are equal Emphasis on individuality Endless negotiations
What are the characteristics of a permissive parenting style? Let's think - Do you know anyone who parents in this manner? What could be the positives of this type of parenting style? What could be the negatives about this parenting style?
300
Even though you could possibly make curfews later as a teen grows older, you still need to make sure that the limits are in place and that you enforce them.
What is an example of loosening but not letting go? As teens grow older, they feel that they should be treated like an adult and not have as many limitations placed on them. While it is ok to be open to negotiations about certain activities, it is not ok to take away all expectations or enforcements of rules.
400
More is better, shop til you drop and the more we have the happier we will be
What are the messages our society receives from media on a daily basis?
400
Teaching self-esteem helps prevent future drug and alcohol abuse and violence
What is MYTH - According to Walsh, teens who have high self-esteem are just as much at risk for substance abuse as their peers who have low self-esteem. In fact, some research has shown that school bullies had higher scores on self-esteem assessments than the kids they were bullying.
400
Support and Connection, High Expectations, Compassion, Autonomy and Resourcefulness, Optimism, Determination, Flexibility and Patience
What are the ingredients for Resiliency? Teaching resiliency in children does not come easy. Children need to know that even though parents are not going to solve their problems, they are willing to listen and support the child. Adults must have reasonable but high expectations for their children. Resilient kids understand that they are not the center of the universe - they have empathy for others. Resilient kids can make decisions on their own and don't wait for others to do everything for them. They are determined to do better the next time and with guidance can figure out other ways to solve a problem.
400
Firm rules Firm enforcement Limited negotiations Stable leadership Balance All opinions are respected
What are the characteristics of a balanced parenting style? Let's think - Do you know anyone who parents in this manner? What could be the positives of this type of parenting style? What could be the negatives about this parenting style?
400
"Experiences that a child has during the brain's growth spurts will have a much greater effect than at any other time in that child's life." (Walsh, 45)
What are Windows of Opportunity and Windows of Sensitivity?
500
Cannot develop the skills needed to have success in academics, work and personal relationships
What happens to children when the adults in their lives are too permissive?
500
When parents and teachers emphasize praise and positive feedback for no real achievement, they actually undermine real self-esteem (Walsh, 66).
What is FACT - Hollow praise does not boost self-esteem. Adults should praise actual accomplishments. It doesn't matter how big or small an accomplishment is - it just needs to be real.
500
Help but don't solve
What is a good strategy for working with your children? Allow children to learn to persevere by sticking with a task. Don't lower your expectations or step in and solve the problem for your child when he is perfectly capable of completing it himself. Instead, help him explore options and encourage him to stick with it.
500
Either a parent bounces back and forth between two extreme parenting styles or two parents have contradictory styles.
What is the Flip-Flop. Why would either situation be potentially bad? What effect would flip-flopping have on children?
500
No - Why Kids - of All Ages - Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It by DAvid Walsh, PhD
What is the name of the book this information comes from and Who is the author?