ANIMAL DAD JOKES
What kind of sweaters do tortoises wear?
Turtle Necks
Why did the computer call the exterminator?
It had a mouse
What musical instruments are donated to hospitals?
Organs
What fruit unlocks doors?
The ki-wi
Why are prisoners good at biology?
Because they know a lot about cells
Why do spiders enjoy computers so much?
They like to play on the web
How did the police officer stop the runaway refrigerator?
She yelled, "FREEZE!"
What instrument do dogs play?
The trom-bone
Why couldn't the egg get good TV reception?
All the channels were scrambled
Where can toddlers plant flowers at school?
Kinder-garden
Where do pigs sleep in the summertime?
In ham-mocks
Which TV shows are the cleanest?
Soaps
Did the drum win the contest?
No, it got beat
How do you send a bouquet to someone on Mother's Day?
You caul-i-flower shop
Why did the developer cross the road?
to get to the other side
What bird wears a toupee?
A bald eagle
What do you call a computer that sings?
A-dell
How did the trumpet do when he auditioned for the orchestra?
He blew it
What happens when a grape is getting old and cranky?
It starts to wine
Where in school are you most likely to catch a cold?
In the cough-ateria
What class do snakes teach at school?
Hiss-tory
What does a computer order to get drunk?
Screen-shots
How did the violin get into the orchestra
It pulled some strings
How do omelets get into school?
They have to pass an egg-zam
When are teachers awesome?
When they have a lot of class