Name That Feeling
Your tummy feels funny before the visit. What feeling might that be?
Answer: Nervous/worried/anxious.
You start feeling overwhelmed. What can you ask for?
a break
Finish this sentence: “I need _____.”
YOUR ANSWER
Show me one deep breath you could use during the visit.
Demonstrates breathing.
Can you control what Mom says?
NO
You’re happy to see Mom but also nervous. Can you feel both?
Answer: Yes, mixed feelings are okay.
Who can you tell if you need a break during the visit?
visitation monitor
What could you say if you don't want to talk about something?
“I don't want to talk about that right now.”
Name something you could think about that helps you feel calm.
example: name a calming person, place, or thing
Can you control whether you tell someone how you're feeling?
YES
Mom says something that makes you feel sad. What could you notice in your body?
Answer: Tears, tight chest, tummy ache, wanting to get quiet, etc.
What could you say if you need space from Mom?
Mom wants to do something, but you want something different. What could you say?
Answer: Respectfully communicate what you want
Your worry is at an 8/10. Name one thing you could try to bring it down.
Example: Breathing, break, grounding, talking to monitor
Mom seems upset. Is it your job to fix Mom's feelings?
NO
You start feeling angry during the visit. Name two clues your body might give you.
Answer: Hot face, tight fists, fast heartbeat, tense body, etc.
What can you do if you’re too nervous to explain everything?
Answer: Use the safe word/signal or tell the monitor you need help.
What could you say if something makes you uncomfortable?
Answer: “I don't like that,” “Please stop,” “I need space,” etc.
What could you do with your body when you notice yourself getting tense?
Example: Body scan, relax muscles, stretch, breathe, ground.
Name two things you can control during a difficult visit.
Examples: Using coping skills, asking for help, communicating needs, requesting a break
Name three feelings you might have during one visit.
YOUR ANSWER
You asked for a break and still feel upset. What could you do next?
Answer: Tell the monitor how you’re feeling/what you need and use a coping skill.
What's the difference between being rude and telling someone what you need?
Answer: You can respectfully set a boundary or express a need without being mean.
Pick three things for your imaginary “visit coping kit.”
A visit doesn't go the way you hoped. What are three things you can remind yourself afterward?
Examples: I can have my feelings. I can tell a safe adult what I need. I don't have to fix grown-up problems. One hard visit doesn't mean every visit will be the same.