Act It Out
You just told your brother, “You are so gross! Stop eating with your mouth open! You make me want to puke!” You notice that he looks really hurt. So you apologize and say an I-statement instead.
What I-statement do you use?
Act It Out!
I am sorry I said that. I feel disgusted when people chew with their mouth open because it grosses me out. Can you please chew with your mouth closed?
The following is an example of an I-statement:
“I feel frustrated when my things are taken out of my room without asking because then I have a hard time finding my stuff. Can you please ask me first next time?”
True or False?
True
Complete the following I-statement by filling in the blank with an emotion:
“I feel ___ when the teacher calls on me to present in front of the class and I’m not ready or don’t know the answer. I wish I had more time to think about my answer first or write it down instead.
Angry, Embarrassed, Frustrated, Nervous etc.
Imagine if you told your friend private information about a big change that was happening with your family and they promised not to tell anyone. Later on, you find out that your friend didn’t keep their promise and now half the class knows about your personal business. You feel betrayed and don’t know if you can trust your friend again. What I-Statement could you use?
I feel betrayed when my personal information is shared because I was promised it would be kept private. Can you please keep the information to yourself next time?
Change the following statement into an I-statement:
“You’re so unfair! You always believe her over me even when she is lying!
I feel frustrated when my side of the story is not believed because I am telling the truth and it is unfair. Can you please listen to my side of the story?
During class, you want to go to the bathroom. However, the teacher is not letting you.
What I-statement could you use to talk to your friend about this? Act It Out!
I feel frustrated/angry/annoyed when I am not allowed to go to the bathroom because I really need to go. I hope the teacher lets me use my pass soon.
“I feel annoyed because you get on my nerves!” is an example of on I-statement.
False
BONUS POINTS: Turn this statement into a helpful I-statement and earn an extra 100 points
Complete the following I-statement by filling in the blank with an emotion:
“When you said you didn’t want to be friends anymore, I felt ___. I really value our friendship and wish we could still hang out.”
Sad, Angry, Hurt, Disappointed, Confused, etc.
Imagine if your friend had a habit of grabbing and eating some of your lunch without asking if it was okay. Most of the time you are happy to share your food, but you’d prefer it if they asked you first.
What I-Statement could you use?
I feel annoyed when my food is taken without asking me because I may want to eat it. Can you please ask next time?
Use an I-statement to share how you feel right now, in this very moment.
Go!
I feel positive when practicing "I" statements because I believe I can improve my communication skills!
Your parents/guardian keep comparing you to someone else. They keep saying,
“why can’t you be more like him/her?”
I feel upset/sad/angry when I am compared to others because it makes me feel like I am not good enough. What I need is to be valued for who I am.
The following statement is an example of an I-statement:
“When you teased me, you made me so mad.”
True or False?
False
BONUS POINTS: Turn this statement into a helpful I-statement and earn an extra 100 points
Complete the following I-statement by filling in the blank with an emotion
“When I was laughed at and made fun of for my new haircut, I felt ___. I want to be spoken to kindly.”
Sad, Angry, Embarrassed, Hurt, etc.
Imagine if your classmate was distracting and disturbing you while you were trying to complete your assignment. You don’t want to be “mean” but you also want to be able to focus on your work.
What I-Statement could you use?
I feel frustrated when there are distractions around because then I can't focus on my work. Can you please leave me alone?
Change the following statement into an I-statement:
“You never hang out with me anymore. It’s like you don’t want to be friends anymore.”
I feel sad when we don't hang out because it makes me feel like we are growing apart. Did I do something to upset you?
Your friend just laughed at you in front of the entire class for getting the wrong answer and you felt embarrassed and hurt. You think maybe your friend doesn’t know how their behavior impacted you, so you decide to talk to them privately after class. Use an I-statement to communicate how you feel and how you would like to be treated. Act It Out!
I felt embarrassed when I was laughed at in front of the class because it made me feel stupid. Can you please not laugh at me if I get an answer wrong?
The following is an example of an I-statement:
“I feel frustrated when we can't agree because I want to spend quality time together. Can we please work together to find something we both enjoy?"
True or False?
True
Complete the following I-statement by filling in the blank with an emotion:
“When we spend time together, I feel ___. I hope that we can do things together more often.”
Thankful, Loved, Excited, Happy, etc.
Imagine if you come home from school and your mother is upset with you because she thinks you broke her favorite vase without telling her about it. She automatically grounds you.
What I-Statement could you use?
I feel confused/upset/hurt when I am automatically blamed and punished when coming home from school because I haven't been home and don't know what happened. What I need is for us to have a conversation about this.
What are two good reasons to use I-statements over you-statements?
I Messages help you focus on your emotions and feelings.
I Messages can help to resolve conflict and can make people less defensive.
This is the second or third time that you’ve noticed your friend roll their eyes at you and then lean over and whisper to another classmate while looking straight at you. You are not quite sure what is going on but you do know that you feel uncomfortable. What I-statement could you use with your friend? Act It Out!
I felt uncomfortable when you whispered to another classmate while staring at me because it made me think you were talking about me. Did I do something wrong?
I-statements are only useful if you have a disagreement or conflict with someone.
False
Complete the following I-statement by filling in the blank with an emotion:
“I felt ___ when others were goofing around and I had to complete the group project all on my own. The next time, I would like for us to work on it together.”
Angry, Upset, Frustrated, Annoyed, Hurt, etc.
Imagine if your parent made a negative comment that hurt you.
What I-statement could you use?
I feel upset when negative comments are made towards me because it makes me feel like I am not good enough. Please be mindful of what you say to me.
Think about a recent disagreement or conflict you had with someone, perhaps with a friend or family member. If you could go back in time and use an I-statement with them, what would you say?
I feel ___ when ____ because ____.