Make the sentences more concise
Paul Tough uses that quote in the article to be used as a transition from Vanessa’s story to the main topic of the article.
Tough uses that quote to transition from Vanessa’s story to the article's main topic.
Feeling like they don’t belong makes students vulnerable and more likely to not try as hard.
Feeling alone makes students vulnerable and less likely to try as hard.
This technology is a solution to the current conundrum America is facing.
This technology solves the current conundrum America faces.
I wrote down the vocabulary on another sheet of paper from my memory.
I copied the vocabulary on another sheet of paper from my memory.
I think that the new one is better because I took out an unnecessary and confusing sentence.
I think that the new one is better because I removed an unnecessary and confusing sentence.
The ingredient corn is one of the most used ingredients in the diets of Mexicans.
Corn is one of the most common ingredients in the Mexican diet.
For example, at some point in high school I heard from the grapevine that Christopher Columbus was not the true founder of the United States.
For example, in high school I heard that Christopher Columbus did not discover the United States.
People are able to get the right expertise at the right time.
People can access the right expertise at the right time.
I do not think that telemedicine has the same value as going to the doctor.
I do not think that telemedicine has the same value as visiting the doctor.
Then the post office will handle the rest and send the item out to your house.
Then the post office will handle the rest and deliver the item to your house.
Moreover, with a parallel hybrid car, it uses an internal combustion and electrical engine.
Moreover, a parallel hybrid car uses an internal combustion and electrical engine.
I went to school, and there I learned how to read in English and write in English, but yet I feel as if I am not entirely entitled to be an American.
I went to school and learned to read and write in English, yet I feel I am not entirely entitled to be an American.
A hybrid is a vehicle whose powertrain combines two or more sources of power that can directly or indirectly propel the vehicle.
A hybrid vehicle’s powertrain combines two or more sources of power that directly or indirectly propel the vehicle.
After working on glider experiments they found out how to steer a plane while in flight.
After working on glider experiments they discovered how to steer a plane while in flight.
When they look at anything unjust, they will not stand up and go against wrongdoings
When they witness anything unjust, they will not fight and oppose wrongdoings.
Students who carry such negative thoughts often end up dropping out instead of seeking for help.
Students carrying such negative thoughts often drop out instead of seeking help.
The students, at some point, experience these thoughts leading to impacting in a negative way their life
When students experience them, these thoughts negatively impact their lives.
In addition, this section is all English and the author does not use figurative language.
In addition, this section includes only English and the author does not use figurative language.
I caught on that in today’s society, many people are more self-centered.
I realized that in today’s society, many people are more self-centered.
The author talks about how it is harder for her to go back to college each time she goes back home.
The author explains how it is harder for her to go back to college each time she returns home.
“Pre-med” students who ace in all of their classes think they are better than the other students who didn’t ace in all of their classes because the “pre-med” students think that they are way smarter to be able to ace in all of their classes, unlike the students who didn’t.
“Pre-med” students who ace all their classes think they are better and far smarter than other students.
Now that I know history from the perspectives of both the oppressors and the oppressed, I have become more knowledgeable to understand how the U.S. has gotten to be the racially and economically unequal country that it is today.
Knowing history from the oppressors’ and the oppressed’s perspectives, I understand how the U.S. has become the racially and economically unequal country that it is today.
That is why it is important for cultural values to continue in Inupiat communities.
Cultural values must continue in Inupiat communities.
We must not wait or watch for others to do anything for us because it will be too late.
We must not wait or expect others to do anything for us because it will be too late.
However, no one stood up for him because the person who stands entirely for justice, the police officer, was bringing about the unjust behavior.
However, no one defended him because the person who entirely represents justice, the police officer, was producing the unjust behavior.