DEAR MAN
Which is more descriptive?
“I want to be discharged because I have continuously attended groups, I have been meeting my basic needs, and have taken my medication consistently.”
OR
“I need to be discharged because I’ve been really good.”
“I want to be discharged because I have continuously attended groups, I have been meeting my basic needs, and have taken my medication consistently.”
Name one of the three Don’ts mentioned in the letter G
Don’t attack, threat, judge
What is your primary goal when using FAST?
Maintaining self-respect
Use DEAR MAN to respond to the following scenario:
Your roommate leaves dirty clothes on your side of the room resulting in feeling overwhelmed
I have been noticing that you are leaving your clothes on my side of the room and I feel overwhelmed when this happens. I would feel calmer if you brought awareness to this and kept your clothes on your side on a daily basis.
Describe how you might appear confident.
making eye contact
speaking clearly
do not whisper
Component of DEARMAN where you make your intentions clearly known by ASKING for what you want or SAYING NO clearly
What is A: ASSERT.
Name one thing you can validate
Facts of a situation, emotions, beliefs, opinions, thoughts, suffering and struggles
Can you apologize during FAST?
Yes (but it is important to try not to over apologize)
Use FAST skills to respond to the following scenario: Your friend wants you to steal some money from your sister.
(Fair, No apologies, stick to values, truthful)
Lying is one thing to avoid when you're using the Truthful skill in FAST, what's the other thing you want to avoid?
**DOUBLE POINTS!!**
What is acting helpless when you're not.
Component of DEARMAN where you let others know the positive benefits, or clarify the negative consequences of not getting what you want or need.
What is R: Reinforce
Component of GIVE where you might smile and use humor to lighten the mood.
E - easy manner
FAST involves sticking to your values. Which one of the following is a value?
All of the above
Use FAST Skills to respond to the following..
At a holiday party someone makes a rude comment towards you. You are offended but you do not want to start an argument.
(Be fair, no apologies, stick to values, truthful)
If you're asking someone for something and you're yelling at them, you're not using this GIVE skill
What is be gentle
Letter in DEARMAN used when you stick to the facts of the current situation
What is D: Describe.
True or False – validation is Fixing, offering solutions, or giving advice
**DOUBLE POINTS!!**
False
Which one of the following is an example of not being Truthful?
All of the above
Using GIVE how would you response to this situation: Your teenage son has a new girlfriend that seems to be getting him into trouble.
(Be gentle, interested, validate, easy manner)
Name all the GIVE FAST skills
(be) Gentle, (act) Interested, Validate, (use an) Easy manner (be) Fair, (no) Apologies, Stick to Values, (be) truthful
What is your primary goal for using DEAR MAN?
Getting what you want
Name three ways you can Act Interested
eye contact, active/reflective listening, nodding, facing your body towards the person
F stands for Fair.
When you are being Fair, who are you being fair to?
Yourself and others
Which of the following is an example of validation: A peer is having a lot of problems with symptoms lately. He is getting into trouble with staff, breaking rules. He asks you to lie for him so that he can stay out of further trouble.
1. You say, “You’re really worried about being in trouble, and I can understand that, but I can’t lie, and get into trouble too. Let’s find another solution.”
2. You immediately go tell staff on him.
3. You try to avoid him. When he approaches you, you say, “I can’t talk right now, I have to do my laundry.”
4. You say, “I understand that you don’t want to get in trouble. I will cover for you.”
1. You say, “You’re really worried about being in trouble, and I can understand that, but I can’t lie, and get into trouble too. Let’s find another solution.”
What's an example of reinforcing your request?
Ex: "I'll be happy" or "You'll really help me out" or "I'll really appreciate it"