Ya Gotta have Friends
These are the skills to use when getting your relationship is your highest priority.
What are the GIVE skills?
Linehan lists 6 factors that sometimes interfere with effectiveness. This is the first one and may get in the way if you haven't been paying attention in skills group. :) Working with it may include things like rereading the instructions or role-playing an interaction.
What are Skills?
These are the skills to use when maintaining your self-respect is your highest priority.
What are the FAST skills?
These are the skills to use when getting your objective is your highest priority.
What are the DEAR MAN skills?
The Scale used in DBT that ranges from Don't Ask, Don't Hint to Ask and don't take no.
What is the Intensity Scale or Evaluating Options for Whether or How intensely to Ask for Something?
This is a skill that requires you to understand and express the other person's perspective.
What is Validation?
Examples of this factor that gets in the way of effectiveness may include anger, guilt or fear that might prevent you from thinking clearly or acting from Wise Mind.
What are emotions?
Using this skill means avoiding saying "I'm sorry" repeatedly in an interaction.
What is No Apologies?
This skill involves just stating the facts without judgment.
What is Describe?
The factor that shows up when something may make sense right now but you'll regret it later.
Long-Term vs. Short-Term Goals
Maintaining eye contact and not interrupting are important aspects of this skill.
What is Acting Interested?
These can get in the way anytime you have a repetitive thought or assumption that prevents you from being interpersonally skillful.
What are the Interpersonal Myths?
This skill involves avoiding lying or making excuses that are not accurate.
What is Being Truthful?
This involves actually asking for what we want, or saying no, clearly and directly.
What is Assert?
The factor used to assess how much reciprocity there is in a relationship
What is Give and Take?
This skill involves being light-hearted and "easing the person along."
What is Using an Easy Manner?
This might get in the way if you are wishy-washy or undecided about what you want.
What is "You don't know what you want?" (or ambivalence)
To use this skill, you have to be clear on your moral principles and be willing to stand up for them.
What is Sticking to Values?
This involves keeping focused on your goal even if the other person is distracting or attacking you.
What is staying Mindful?
this factor involves weighing out how much you usually do for yourself and how you will feel about yourself if you say no (when thinking about it from Wise Mind)
What is Self-Respect?
Among the many elements included in this skill, is the practice of refraining from threats or judgments.
What is being Gentle?
An example of this obstacle to effectiveness might be if you are sure you want to say "no" to someone in Wise Mind but then get frightened in the interaction and say "yes" to reduce your fear.
What is Forgetting your Long-Term Goals for Short-Term Goals?
This skill involves treating all involved with the interaction, including ourselves, justly.
What is being Fair?
This skill involves communicating to the other person why doing what YOU want will benefit THEM.
What is Reinforce?
This is a factor that you adjust for based on a number of factors that are present when not in Emotion Mind.
What is Wise Mind Adjustment?