Interpersonal Effectiveness
When would we use Interpersonal Effectiveness skills?
When we want to ask for something or say no to something
What is our top priority with DEARMAN?
Our objective
What is our top priority with GIVE?
The relationship
What is our top priority with FAST?
Self respect
What does mindfulness mean?
Being present to the current moment
Give two examples of factors that may reduce/get in the way of using interpersonal effectiveness skills
Emotion mind, indecision, prioritizing short term over long term goals, myths or self-judgement
What does DEARMAN stand for?
Describe, express, assert, stay mindful, appear confident, and negotiate
Why is relationship effectiveness important?
Relationship effectiveness improves or maintains a good relationship with the other person in an interaction, while at the same time trying to obtain your objective.
What does FAST stand for?
What are the 'what skills'?
Observe, describe, participate
What does it mean to walk the middle path?
Name an example of a reinforcer in DEARMAN
What does the other person get out of it? (i.e. This will improve our relationship)
What does GIVE stand for?
be Gentle, act Interested, Validate, and use an Easy manner
What does self-respect effectiveness mean?
Prioritizing the way you feel about yourself after an interaction
What does TIPP stand for?
Temperature, intense exercise, paced breathing, paired muscle relaxation
Give an example of a dialectical statement
Two seemingly opposing things that coexist (e.g. I am doing the best that I can, and I want to do better)
How can we appear confident?
Bonus: What skill can we use if we are struggling with confidence when using a DEARMAN?
Eye contact, assertive tone of voice, speaking clearly, etc.
Opposite Action
Give an example of how you might act interested and how you might use an easy manner
Ask questions, actively listen, make eye contact
Use humour, smile
What can get in the way of self-respect effectiveness?
Too often giving into others, not knowing our values, acting in emotion mind
Give an example of when you would use a Cope Ahead skill
With an upcoming event (i.e. a social gathering where target behaviours will be present)
What are the three priorities in Interpersonal Effectiveness?
Objective, relationship, and self respect
Use a DEARMAN right now to ask for either a graduation pizza or doughnuts next week
Describe, express, assert, reinforce, be mindful, appear confident, and negotiate with group facilitators
Tell me how you might validate a roommate who slept in past their alarm and missed their CASON appointment. They mentioned to you last night that they had a 9am appointment and you did not wake them up. They are angry and blaming you for not noticing that they slept in.
I understand that you are frustrated, I know how important these appointments are to you, I would be upset too if that happened to me, I hear what you're saying
What is an example when you might use the FAST skill?
When your self-respect is more important than the relationship (i.e. when an old 'friend' tries to get you to engage in target behaviours again)
What are the four modules in DBT?
Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Distress Tolerance, and Emotion Regulation