DEARMAN
Which part of DEARMAN does this statement resemble: "I feel frustrated when that happens."
Express
Describe what it means to "Exit gracefully" in conflict?
You are not abruptly walking away, escalating conflicts, avoiding, taking a break from the conversation but planning to come back to it when de-escalated
What is the purpose/objective of the FAST skill?
This skill is used to maintain your self-respect during interpersonal interactions.
What does "Dialectical" mean? Provide an example.
2 seemingly opposing ideas can both be true at the same time
Ex: I am doing the best I can and I need to do better.
Ex: You can understand why somebody is feeling or behaving a certain way AND also disagree with his or her behavior and ask that it be changed.
List the 3 types of communication people have.
Passive, Agressive, and Assertive
What is the purpose/objective of DEARMAN?
Getting what you want from another person: 1)what specific changes or results do I want from this interaction? 2) What do I have to do to get the results?
What does each letter in GIVE stand for?
Gentle, Interested, Validate, Easy Manner
Fill in the blank: "Fair" means being fair to ____ and _____.
yourself and others.
Name the 4 different pillars of DBT
Mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, interpersonal effectiveness
Evaluating intensity focuses on determining how much a person may _____ and ____.
Ask or say no.
List out what each letter in DEARMAN stands for.
What are things you should NOT validate another person on?
BONUS 100 POINTS: What is the #1 you can always validate???
Anything that is inaccurate, unfair, or unsafe---PREVENTS ENABLING
BONUS: EMOTIONS!
What does the FAST acronym stand for?
Be fair, no apologies, stick to values, be truthful
FILL IN THE BLANK: Dialectical thinking replaces "either-or" thinking to _______
Reminder: To think dialectically, we need to let go of extremes & balance opposites
When discussing evaluating intensity, what are 3 out of the 8 domains you should consider? Extra 200 points if you list them all :)
What does it mean in DEARMAN to "Stay mindful" while communicating?
Keep your focus on your goals. Don't be distracted. Don't get off topic. Be a broken record and ignore attacks.
What is the purpose/objective of GIVE?
Keeping the relationship--acting in such a way that the other person keeps liking and respecting you; balancing immediate goals with the good of the long-term relationship
List one thing you should not apologize for in conflict?
Being alive, making a request, having an opinion, or for disagreeing
Remember: apologies imply that you are wrong--that you are the one making a mistake.
What would the "middle path" look like between these 2 extremes: never trusting anyone & trust everyone/overshare?
Trust gradually, trust with boundaries, pay attention to how other people responds
Fill in the equation from distress tolerance:
P_____ + A______ = Ordinary Pain
Pain + acceptance = ordinary pain
Reminder: PAin + Non-acceptance = suffering
Demonstrate all steps of DEARMAN for this scenario: You have been overwhelmed with looking for a job while balancing PHP programming at The Phoenix. Use DEARMAN to ask for some time off from group.
Scenario: In an argument with your partner, your partner yells “You don’t understand me at all. This is pointless.”
How can you validate their frustration and feeling misunderstood and not reinforce the yelling behavior?
See therapist for response.
Scenario: Your sibling says you’ve been “talking too much about mental health stuff” at family gatherings. Your sibling specifically says: “Can you just not bring that stuff up? It’s kind of awkward.”
How could you use the FAST skill to respond to your family in a way that stays aligned with your value of honesty
See therapist for response
How does holding 2 truths reduce emotional intensity?
It interrupts our brains tendency to simplify distress into an extremes. This is what drives our emotions and intensity of what we are feeling. Holding 2 truths increases flexibility in our thinking. It also gives us choices on how we want to proceed (keyword: CHOOSING)
In what year did the Phoenix Recovery Center open?
2012