Objective Effectiveness
What is the skill DEAR MAN used for?
To obtain something you are asking/advocating for
What is relationship effectiveness?
Communicating respect for the other person’s thoughts/feelings
What are the three traits of boundaries?
Porous, Rigid, Healthy
What are the three types of communication styles?
Aggressive, Passive, and Assertive
True or False- it is okay to walk away from a heated argument.
True! As long as you come back to talk about it at a later time.
When we describe in DEAR MAN, what do we describe with?
Facts
What is self-respect effectiveness?
Communicating respect for yourself to others
Name that Boundary Trait:
A person who avoids intimacy, is closed off and reluctant to share information, unlikely to ask for help, keeps people at a distance to avoid rejection, and has difficulty compromising.
Rigid
Name that communication style:
Soft spoke, quiet, prioritizes the needs of others, poor eye contact, lack of confidence
Passive
What are reflections?
Repeating what you heard from the person, but in your own words to demonstrate that you're trying to understand them.
When we express in DEAR MAN, what do we express with?
Feelings
Name the acronym GIVE.
Gentle, Interested, Validate, Easy Manner
Name that Boundary Trait:
Values their own opinion, is willing to compromise, can say no and accepts when others say no to them, shares information in an appropriate way
Healthy
Name that Communication Style:
Easily frustrated, speaks loud and overbearing, criticizes/attacks, points blame, disrespectful of others
Aggressive
What is stonewalling?
Emotionally withdrawing, shutting down, or going silent during important discussions.
How should we appear when asking/advocating for something? (A in DEAR MAN)
Confident!
True or False- To validate someone means that you have to agree with them.
Name that Boundary Trait:
Overshares personal information, has difficulty saying no, is dependent upon other's opinions, accepting of abuse or disrespect
Listens without interruption, clearly states needs and wants, willing to compromise, stands up for themselves, confident body language
Assertive
Take accountability.
Name a question that you can ask someone when negotiating.
What are you willing to do? What compromise do you see? What solution would you propose?
Name the acronym FAST.
Fair, No apologies, Stick to your values, Truthfulness.
Name 4 types of boundaries
Physical, intellectual, emotional, sexual, material, time
Your waiter brings you the wrong dish at a restaurant. Act out a passive, aggressive, and assertive response (one per group member).
:)
What is criticism in the four horsemen and what is it's antidote?
Criticism: Dealing with problems through harsh, blaming, or hurtful expressions of judgment or disapproval.
Antidote: Gentle Startup- Dealing with problems in a calm and gentle way. The focus is on the problem—not the person.