Effectiveness
Give the definition of effectiveness.
Getting what we want while maintaining our relationships and self-respect.
When we want to achieve our objective by asking for something or saying no.
When you tell someone that you understand their feelings, wants, difficulties and opinions about a situation, what GIVE skill are you using?
Validate.
When do you use FAST skills?
When you want to keep your self-respect.
How can you act interested?
Maintain eye contact, ask questions, paraphrase what's being said, nod, etc.
List two things that you use interpersonal effectiveness for.
Asking for something or saying no to something.
What is the first step in DEAR MAN?
Describe the situation.
What does the I in GIVE stand for?
Act interested.
No apologies means to NEVER apologize, true or false?
How can you improve your interpersonal effectiveness skills?
PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE.
List two factors that can reduce interpersonal effectiveness.
Lack of needed skills, indecision, interference from emotions, prioritizing short-term goals over long-term goals, interference from environment, interpersonal myths, and interplay of factors.
Give an example of reinforcing your request.
Examples: "I think we will both sleep better if we stay within our budget" or "I would really appreciate it if you would accept that I can't always give you rides home".
If you're asking staff for something and you're yelling at them, what give skill are you lacking in that moment?
(Be) gentle.
Example: selling out on everything to get approval and liking or interpreting everything as an issue of values and view flexibility of any sort as giving up their integrity.
List two factors that can impact the level of asking or saying no to something.
Priorities, the relationship, self-respect, capability, timelessness, homework, authority, rights, long-term vs. short-term goals, and reciprocity.
What are two major factors that can cause us to give priority to short-term goals over long-term goals?
Low tolerance for distress and failure to consider consequences.
What does the M in DEAR MAN stand for?
(Stay) mindful.
If you've gotten what you want AND kept your self-respect, but you've really upset the person you were asking something of, what objective have you lost sight of?
Relationship effectiveness.
Lying is one thing you want to avoid when you're using the truthful skill in FAST, what's another thing you want to avoid?
Acting helpless when you're not.
What is self-respect effectiveness?
Maintaining or improving your respect for yourself and respecting your own values and beliefs, while you attain your objective.
Challenge them by arguing against them logically, checking the facts, and practicing opposite action.
List all of the DEAR MAN skills.
Describe the situation, express clearly, assert wishes, reinforce, (stay) mindful, appear confident, and negotiate.
List all of the GIVE skills.
(Be) gentle, (act) interested, validate, and (use an) easy manner.
List all of the FAST skills.
(Be) fair, (no) apologies, stick to values, and (be) truthful.
How can you appear confident?
Use a confident tone, posture, and eye contact. No stammering, whispering, staring at the floor, retreating, or saying you're not sure.