Vignettes
George
mindfulness of others
When do we use DEAR MAN
When we want to effectively ask for something or say no
When do we use GIVE?
When we want to prioritize the relationship
When we want to prioritize self-respect
Myth of fact: Making requests is a really pushy (bad, self-centered, selfish, etc.) thing to do.
Myth
Lisa
FAST
The first two steps (D.E.) are...
Describe and express/emotion
What does the G stand for?
Gentle approach
What does the F stand for?
F-Be fair to self and others
Paying attention, reflecting back, reading minds, and understanding are the first four levels of what skill?
Validation
Brian
GIVE
What is an example of Reinforcing your request?
"I'll be happy" or "You'll help me out" or "I'll feel really supported"
What does the I stand for? (give an example)
Act interested (maintain eye contact, don't let your thoughts wander, etc.)
What is an example of when an apology is justified
When we do something against our values
How do we troubleshoot if we realize emotions are getting in the way of using our skills?
Use emotion regulation or distress tolerance skills
Maggie
DEARMAN
What letter refers to acting like a "broken record?"
M-mindfully. Stick to the topic. Don't get side-tracked.
If you're asking staff for something and you're yelling at them, you're not using this GIVE skill.
G-gentle approach
F-be fair to self and others
A-no apologies
S-Stick to values
T-Be truthful
A ____________ relationship is one that blocks or makes difficult your pursuing goals that are important to you; your ability to enjoy life and do things you like doing; your relationships with other persons; or the welfare of others you love.
Interfering
Parker
ending/suspending destructive relationships
Name all the steps in DEAR MAN
Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, Mindfully, Appear Confident, Negotiate
If you've gotten what you want AND kept your self respect, but you've really upset the person you were asking something of, what objective have you lost sight of?
relationship effectiveness
Lying is one thing to avoid when you're using the Truthful skill in FAST, what's the other thing you want to avoid?
acting helpless when you're not
A word that means “providing relief or what is wanted before the behavior occurs”.
Satiation