Factors to Consider
Someone is asking me for something. This factor to consider is demonstrated by these questions: Am I actually able to give this person the thing they are asking me for?
What is Capability?
"You went out last night and did not tell me where you were going before you left" is an example of this DEAR MAN step.
What is Describe?
This is what GIVE stands for.
What is Be Gentle, Act Interested, Validate, and Have an Easy Manner?
True or False: Using the FAST skill means not apologizing when you've wronged someone.
This is what THINK stands for.
What is Think about it from the other person's perspective, Have empathy, Generate different and benign Interpretations, Notice ways the other person is trying to improve the situation, and Use Kindness?
I want to tell my boss that I think her jokes are inappropriate, but I'm worried that she will fire me. I am considering this factor to consider
What is Relationship?
"It really makes me sad when you don't invite me to things" is an example of this step.
What is Express?
Multitasking demonstrates that someone is not engaging in this GIVE step.
What is Acting Interested?
If I make an excuse (that is not true) to justify why I do not want to stay out late one night, I am not following this step of FAST.
What is Being Truthful?
True or False: Having Empathy for someone who hurt you means you cannot be angry at them.
This factor to consider is represented by this question: Is now a bad time?
What is timeliness?
These are the goals DEAR MAN helps us achieve (i.e., when do we use DEAR MAN?)
What is asking for something effectively, saying no to a request, and being taken seriously?
These are the goals GIVE helps us achieve (i.e., when do we use GIVE?)
What is To maintain our relationships?
This is the goal FAST helps us achieve (i.e., When do we use FAST?)
What is Maintaining Our Self-Respect?
These are the goals the THINK skill helps us achieve (i.e., when do we use THINK?)
What is To reduce anger or conflict?
I heard from a third party that Jill was talking trash about me. I want to confront her, but I can't quite remember all the details of what this third party said to me. I don't think it is wise to talk to Jill without being clear about what was allegedly said. I should consider THIS factor to consider.
What is Preperation?
What is Reinforce?
True or False: Validation means that we agree with or condone someone else's behavior. If false, define validation.
What is False and Communicating that someone's thoughts, feelings, or actions make sense given the context.
Which FAST step am I not demonstrating in the following situation?
I live 15 minutes from the airport, and my roommate has picked me up from my flight three times in the last year. She asked me if I would pick her up from her flight, and I said no way - since it is not my responsibility to arrange for her transportation.
What is Being Fair to Others?
The K in think stands for Using Kindness. Using this other Interpersonal Effectiveness skill would help you follow the K step effectively.
What is GIVE?
I am asking someone for help. This factor to consider is represented by these questions: Have I helped this person in the past? Have they helped me? Have either of us overused help from the other?
What is Give and Take?
This is the DEAR MAN step Person 1 is doing the opposite of in this interaction:
Person 1: I would like you to do the dishes more often.
Person 2: Well, you haven't vacuumed the floor in weeks!
Person 1: What are you talking about? I always vacuum!
M - Stay Mindful of Goals
You are talking to Danny. Validate the valid (but not the invalid) based on the following situation.
Jill told Danny that he smelled really bad. Shortly after, Danny became angry and sad. He then picked up Jill's computer and smashed it on the ground.
What is anything that validates the emotion, not the behavior.
Generate a quick FAST statement in response to the following scenario:
Your friend asks you to skip work to see the new Minions movie. It is against your values to miss work for something like this, though you notice the thought that your friend will call you a square if you say that.
:)
Generate at least two benign interpretations of the following situation.
You wrap yesterday's leftovers from a fancy restaurant in tin foil and bring it to work. You cannot wait for to eat your lunch - and when you head to the refrigerator on your lunch break, you see that your lunch is no longer there! Hours later, still angry, you find out that Jill ate your lunch (classic Jill).
What is: Maybe she grabbed something wrapped in tin foil thinking it was hers? Maybe she hadn't eaten in days? Wasn't able to afford to bring lunch today? Any other answer that does not excuse her behavior, but might make you less angry in the moment.