DEARMAN
When do we use DEARMAN?
To effectively communicate what we want or when in conflict
What are GIVE skills used for?
Communicating effectively with others/ building and maintaining healthy relationships
What are FAST skills used for?
Maintaining self-respect during conflict
What is the communication style we try to use in effective conversation?
Assertive
What are the three types of boundaries?
Rigid, Porous, Healthy
What does DEAR in DEARMAN stand for?
Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce
What does GIVE stand for?
be Gentle
act Interested
Validate
Easy manner
What does FAST stand for?
be Fair
(no) Apologizing
Stick to your values
be Truthful
What are the four styles of communication?
passive, aggressive, passive aggressive, assertive
What do rigid boundaries look like?
Not letting people in, avoiding close relationships, not asking for help, very protective of personal information, keeps people at a distance
What does the MAN in DEARMAN stand for?
be Mindful, Appear confident, Negotiate
What does validation mean? What does it NOT mean?
Confirm what you heard the other person saying/ you hear the emotion
Does not mean agreeing
Why are no apologies important in maintaining self-respect?
Apologies are powerful in relationships when we have wronged others, however, we don't need to apologize when we have not done something wrong
What are some ways we can be assertive in our communication
Be honest, direct, make eye-contact, be respectful, etc
What do porous boundaries look like?
Oversharing of personal information, difficulty saying no, overly involved in people lives or problems, fears rejection if they don't please others
Name a situation where you used DEARMAN or could have used DEARMAN
(personalized answer)
Name a time where you have used or could have used GIVE
(personalized anwer)
Why is FAST an important part of communication?
In order to have healthy relationships we also need to practice self-respect and uphold our values/ boundaries
What are the consequences of aggressive or passive aggressive communication
being angry or resentful, feeling unheard, or continuous failing relationships
What are the things that help us build our boundaries
Our personal values
When is DEARMAN most effective?
When we are not emotionally vulnerable/ at an escalated state
What are skills you could use BEFORE using GIVE if you are feeling intense emotions
Name a situation where you did or could have used FAST
(personalized answer)
What is the point of practicing effective communication styles
helps to get our needs met, air grievances, have healthy conflict, preserve our values and worth etc.
Why is it important to have values
So we know what we stand for and can uphold healthy boundaries that align with the things that are important to us