Interacting with the World
Marsha Linehan focused on the concept of _____, which focuses on 4 concepts: everything has an opposite, we and everything in the world is interconnected, change is the only constant, and change is transactional in nature.
Dialetics!
The DBT skills of DEAR MAN are skills focused on _____ _____, or skills used to get what you want.
Objectives Effectiveness
The GIVE DBT skills focus on ____ ______, or keeping the relationship, whereas the FAST skills focus on __-__ ______, or maintaining respect for yourself.
Relationship Effectiveness and Self-Respect Effectiveness
True or False: The saying "opposites attract" tends to hold true for a majority of relationships in our lives.
False! Familiarity, common interests, and common attitudes and beliefs tends to lead to more liking, friendships, and relationships than true polar opposites.
True or False: Validating doesn't mean you like it or agree with it.
True! You can provide validation to someone and not agree with what they did or what happened.
Dialetics looks at the idea that opposing sides can be true. Provide an example of how opposites can both be true that you can relate to yourself.
200 points!
What does the acronym DEAR MAN stand for?
Describe, Explain, Assert, Reinforce, (Stay) Mindful, Appear (Confident), and Negotiate.
What does the acronym GIVE FAST stand for?
(Be) Gentle, (Act) Interested, Validation, (Use an) Easy Manner, (Be) Fair, (No) Apologies, Stick to Values, and (Be) Truthful
True or False: Friendships last longer when we are mindful.
True! It is important to engage in mindfulness: observing, describing, and participating in these interactions.
When validating someone or something, Marsha notes 4 areas to focus on. Provide 1 of the 4 areas that are important things to validate.
1) The valid and only the valid (relevant and meaningful to the situation, justifiable or grounded by fact)
2) The facts of the situation -- "Just the facts"
3) A person's experiences, feelings/emotions, beliefs, opinions, and thoughts about something
4)Suffering and difficulties.
_____ the _____ _____ is about creating and maintaining balance in relationships, along with a balance of acceptance and change in relationships.
Walking the Middle Path
True or False: When using DEAR MAN, it is important to use "I" phrases rather than "you" phrases.
True! Using "you" can put the other person on the defense immediately versus giving them an understand on how you feel in response to their behaviors.
Give an example of how you would use one of the levels of validation within the GIVE skill.
Pay Attention -- look interested, nonverbal communication
Reflect Back -- repeat back what you heard for clarification
Read Minds -- sensitive to nonverbals and what's not being said
Understand -- put yourself in the other person's shoes
Acknowledge the Valid -- validity to other person's thoughts/feelings/actions based on facts and logical responses
Show Equality -- not one-upping or one-downing; treating as equal and not incompetent or fragile
When deciding to end a relationship, it is important to be in ____ mind and never in ______ mind.
Wise, Emotion.
Self-Validation
What are the 3 types of effectiveness skillsets that focus on achieving different types of goals within DEAR MAN GIVE FAST?
Objectives Effectiveness, Relationship Effectiveness, and Self-Respect Effectiveness.
Part of being mindful in MAN, should you 1) become argumentative and respond to the other person's attacks or 2) ignore attacks.
2) Ignore the attacks. Paying attention to the other person's attacks will cause the interaction to be more in their control than yours and ultimately will no longer be focused on your objective for the interaction.
True or False: It is okay to say "I'm sorry" or apologize for making a request and/or sharing your thoughts and feelings when interacting with others.
False! Apologizing can negate what you just said, make your thoughts and feelings appear invalid, and minimize the importance of what you shared. This can lead others to be more likely to disregard when you do share openly. Apologizing can also help perpetuate feelings of not being confident to be assertive in expressing yourself fully.
Provide an example of when you have used positive interpersonal skills to foster or build a healthy friendship or relationship with others.
400 points!
Give a personal example of how someone validating you was beneficial.
400 points!
True or False: When going through various areas of effectiveness (objectives, relationship and self-respect), it is best to focus on one area rather than incorporating all 3 at once.
True! One area is going to take precedence in order to avoid confusion of what you want from the interaction/relationship.
Give an example of the difference between "appearing" confident and "being" confident?
Fake it 'til you make it. Appearing confident doesn't mean you are confident. Use a calm, confident tone of voice, good posture, good eye contact. No "I don't know" or "I'm not sure". Being firm and assertive in your speech.
2) Your priorities
3) The effect of your actions on your self-respect
4) You or the other's moral and legal rights in the situation
5) Your authority over the person (or theirs over you)
6) The type of relationship you have with the person
7) The effect of your action on long- versus short-term goals
8) The degree of give and take in your relationship
9) Whether you have done your homework to prepare
10) The timing of your request or refusal
Provide an example of when you effectively ended an unhealthy or toxic relationship with others.
500 points!
Give a personal example of invalidation and how it impacted you.
500 points!