DEARMAN
What is the Objective for using DEARMAN?
Getting what you want/need or saying no
Component of GIVE where you might smile and use humor to lighten the mood
E - Easy Manner
What is the Priority when using FAST
Self-Respect
You are talking with your friend and the two of you disagree. Which skill are you going to focus on the most?
GIVE
When deciding to end a relationship, it's best to be in _______ Mind
Wise
Letter of DEARMAN where you make your intentions known by clearly asking for what you need or saying no
Assert
True or False – Validation is fixing, offering solutions, or giving advice
False
Laughing at an offensive joke is an example of NOT using which letter?
V - Stick to Values
Sam Shyness is asking Suzie Soulmate on a date and is using his skills effectively, except he's looking down at his feet and mumbling. What part of DEARMAN is he forgetting to do?
Appear Confident
True or False - Playing devil's advocate is an example of validation
False
(How to think and act dialectically)
(M) Mindful technique where you keep asking, saying no, or expressing your opinion over and over while keeping your voice calm and even
Broken Record
Name one of the four "Don’ts" mentioned in the letter G
No Attacks
No Threats
No Judging
No Sneering
T - (be) Truthful
Ginny thinks to herself, "he should have known that would hurt my feelings. I shouldn't have to tell him." This is an example of what?
Interpersonal Myth
Name one thing to ask yourself during troubleshooting
Do I have the skills I need?
Do I know what I want?
Are short term goals getting in the way of long term goals?
Are my emotions getting in the way?
Are worries, assumptions, and myths getting in the way?
Is the environment more powerful than my skills?
Letter of DEARMAN where you let others know the positive benefits or clarify the negative consequences of not getting what you want or need
R - Reinforce
Name one thing you can Validate
Facts of a situation
Emotions
Beliefs
Opinions
Thoughts
Suffering and struggles
F stands for Fair. When you are being Fair, who are you being fair to?
Yourself & Others
Jerome feels sad and hurt by his partner telling him he shouldn't be angry. This is an example of what?
Invalidation
Paying attention, letting go of focusing on yourself, no multitasking, giving up being right, and noticing judgmental thoughts are examples of which skill when practicing Mindfulness of Others?
Observe
"I am starting to feel frustrated by this conversation" is an example of which DEARMAN letter?
E - Express
Facing someone, maintaining eye contact, patience, and not interrupting others are examples of which letter?
I - (act) Interested
True or False - You can't apologize when using FAST
False
Jerome decides to self soothe, remind himself invalidation is not a catastrophe, acknowledge that invalidation hurts, and check the facts to see if his response was valid. What group of skills is he using?
Recovering from Invalidation
Name two factors to consider when deciding how intensely to ask or say no to something
Capability
Priorities
Self-Respect
Rights
Authority
Relationship
Short Term vs Long Term Goals
Give and Take
Homework
Timing