The most normal questions you’ve ever seen in your puny pathetic life, just kidding that’s mean.
If a vampire bites a zombie, does the zombie become a vampire or the vampire become a zombie?
Neither. They both get food poisoning and regret their life choices.
If ghosts can walk through walls, why don’t they fall through the floor?
Ghost physics. Don’t question it, or you’ll get haunted by math.
If a plane crashes on the border between the United States and Canada, where do they bury the survivors?
You don’t bury survivors
If you’re in a race and pass the person in second place, what place are you in now?
second
What goes up but never comes down?
your age
If life is unfair to everyone, does that make it fair?
Yep. Life’s an equal-opportunity disappointment.
If everyone on Earth jumped at the same time, would the planet move?
Technically yes — but so little that only the ants would notice.
If two’s company and three’s a crowd, what do four and five make?
9
If nothing is impossible, is it possible for something to be impossible?
Yes. Which means nothing is not impossible… paradox achieved.
A cowboy rode into town on Friday. He stayed three days and left on Friday. How?
his horse's name is Friday
If we clean a vacuum cleaner, do we become the vacuum cleaner?
No, but we do become the thing that sucks slightly less.
If two wrongs don’t make a right, why do negative times negative make a positive?
Math forgives in ways morality doesn’t.
Why do we press harder on a remote when the batteries are dying?
Because deep down, we believe in emotional CPR
If a rooster lays an egg on a roof, which way does it roll?
roosters don't lay eggs
How many animals of each kind did Moses take on the Ark?
None, noah had the ark not moses
If the early bird gets the worm, what does the night owl get?
Existential dread and a pizza delivery at 3 a.m.
If water has no color, why is the ocean blue?
Because water absorbs red light, so blue light bounces back — it’s science, not Photoshop.
If corn oil comes from corn and olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
It’s mineral oil, relax.
How much dirt is in a hole that measures 2 feet by 3 feet by 4 feet?
none its a hole
What has keys but can’t open locks?
piano
If life gives you lemons, what if you’re allergic to citrus
Then life’s just trying to speed up the process.
Which came first — the chicken or the egg?
The egg — laid by something almost a chicken that evolved into one.
If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?
Technically, yes; nutritionally, no, and morally questionable.
How many times can you subtract 5 from 25?
once then ur subtracting 5 from 20
If you throw a red stone into the blue sea, what will it become?
wet