Dad Jokes
Animal Dads
Father Time
POPorri
Founding Fathers
100

My chemistry joke flopped.

No reaction

100

Aquatic animal where the male carries the offspring

Seahorse

100

Time to see a dentist

2:30 tooth hurty

100

This cereal, held together with marshmallow frosting creates quite a treat. Snap! Crackle! Pop!

Rice Krispies

100

Though often depicted incorrectly, this famed rider was responsible for hanging lanterns in the church as well as stealthily riding to inform his compatriots in Lexington. Not Dawes or Prescott.

Paul Revere, He had a helper hang the lanterns to convey information to Charleston, across the river not for revere himself. He had also intended to warn the minutemen stationed in Conchord but was captured before he got there

200

Swimming with sharks sure costs a lot.

An arm and a leg

200

This flightless bird braves the -40 degree C elements to protect it's egg for 2 months straight

Emperor Penguin

200

These separate the planet into 24 regions each differing from the last by one hour.

time zones

200

dried kernels plus oil and heat makes this snack food.

Popcorn

200

The intentions of the participants in this fatal duel have been debated between modern historians. Some say, despite claims to the contrary, one's intention was to provoke the other and ruin their political career. Which it did.

Burr-Hamilton Duel

300

When I was young I didn't appreciate facial hair, but once I got older

It grew on me

300

The male of this comedically colored fish spends the majority its time cleaning and fanning its eggs in its sea anemone based home

Clownfish

300

The actress debuted in a blockbuster movie, It seems she reached this.

The big time

300

This packaging material can be used to entertain children via popping the air pockets designed for cushioning

Bubblewrap

300

This man made the generally stoic Washington laugh when British soldiers complained about minutemen firing weapons from behind stone walls. Franklin wittily asked "Didn't those walls have two sides?" Other quotes include "a penny saved is a penny earned", "Time is money" and "Concerning an Electrical Kite"

Benjamin Franklin, Psuedonym: Richard Saunders of Poor Richard's Almanack

400

Spent money on a belt that was too big

it was a huge waist

400

The fathers of this toxic, colorful amphibian keeps a watch over the young while the mother escorts the tadpoles individually to water. This is done to prevent infighting of the youth.

poison dart frogs

400

Best time of day hands down

6:30 (hour hand and minute hand pointing down)

400

This style of music originates from south korea and often consists of a large group of singers vocalizing over varied genres

K-Pop

400

John Hancock had a 500 pound bounty placed on his head for this illegal importation of goods aiming to avoid british taxes

smuggling ( He thought his bounty was insultingly low, perhaps another sign of his signature vanity)

500

My job is to crush cans all day and its making me sad

Its soda-pressing

500

These nocturnal birds of prey don't build their own nests. So the father is tasked with scoping out a suitable place for the eggs to be laid. Once that task is done, he is must quickly begin hunting to singlehandedly feed the growing family.

Eagle owl

500

When an object's velocity approaches the speed of light, time appears to pass slower when compared with the time that has passed by a stationary observer

Time dilation/ special relativity

500

These sudden marketplaces provide trendy destinations with limited and exclusive inventory

Pop-up store/ vendor

500

These two both were absent for the signing of the constitution in 1787 and coincidentally died on the same day, July 4th 1826

John Adams and Thomas Jefferson