Dad Jokes
How do you jump higher on a waterbed?
Use spring water.
People make me, save me, change me, and raise me. What am I?
Money
Why was the piano locked out of the house?
It lost its keys
What is Elvis Presley's natural hair color?
Blonde
How do omelets get into school?
They have to pass an egg-zam
What can you keep but cannot share, and once you share it you can't keep it anymore?
A secret
How many bones are in a hand?
A handful
What celebrity named her daughter Blue Ivy?
Beyonce'
What's a good name for an oyster?
Pearl
What has an eye but cannot see?
A needle
Why did the police photograph the cup of coffee?
To get its mug shot
What is the total number of dots in the maze in the Pac-Man arcade game?
244 dots
What energy snacks to chimps like?
Monkey bars
What is always in front of you but can't be seen?
The future
Which TV shows are the cleanest?
Soaps
How many countries are there is Europe?
44
The Bermuda Triangle
The more it dries, the wetter it gets. What is it?
A towel
What musical instruments are donated to hospitals?
Organs
Who is the oldest Kardashian sister?
Kourtney
What's a good name for a duck?
Bill
84% of people reading this will not find the the mistake in this.
A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z
"the" is repeated
What's a good snack to eat on Father's Day?
Pop-corn
Which celebrity had to issue an apology after her cell phone was hacked and phone numbers of other celebrities were posted on the internet?
Paris Hilton
What do you give a dog to make him laugh?
A funny bone
What goes through a door but never goes in and never comes out?
the keyhole
Where in school are you most likely to catch a cold?
What year was the first Xbox released?
2001
A bald eagle
What is used for safety, but is not safe?
A safety pin
When are teachers awesome?
When they have a lot of class
What is the name of the spin-off prequel to The Big Bang Theory?
Young Sheldon
What pants make beautiful music?
Bell bottoms
I am always wet but never dirty. I am a solid-liquid. What am I?
A bubble
What do balloons drink at birthday parties?
Pop
Name the five kids from Stranger Things.
Eleven, Lucas Sinclair, Mike Wheeler, Dustin Henderson, and Will Byers