Thinking Errors
I feel it, therefore I know it must be true.
Emotional Reasoning
Using "I feel" statements is better than doing ____.
Blaming/yelling/attacking (basically any type of unhealthy communication)
This means owning your choices, behaviors, and next steps.
Responsibility
Healthy conflict includes:
This is the ability to recover after challenges.
Resilience
Blaming, Justifying, or Rationalizing
Excuse Making
This communication skill means fully listening instead of planning your reply.
Active listening
This means focusing only on who is at fault.
Blame
Someone criticizes you, and you immediately feel angry. Before responding, what should you do?
Pause, breathe, or regulate your emotions
Other people’s opinions belong outside this.
Outside of your control
The belief that it is an absolute necessity to have the love and respect of everyone, even the people you do not like or are unhealthy for you.
Love, Approval, and Respect
Repeating back what someone said to make sure you understood is called this.
Reflecting/Clarifying
“I relapsed, but I can learn from it and make a new plan” is an example of this.
Accountability/responsibility
Unhealthy conflict includes:
What does RAIN (skill) stand for?
Recognize, allow, investigate, nurture
You feel resentful because you think you know what is fair but other people won't agree with you, or you have belief that life should be fair and justify your actions or beliefs.
Fallacy of Fairness
A conflict resolution result where both people give up a little bit to reach a fair agreement.
Compromise
Responsibility =
(Example of each)
"I am bad" vs. "My behavior needs to change"
Interrupting, multitasking, assumptions
Barriers to communication
The opposite of impulsive behavior?
Intentional decision-making
The brain selectively remembers past experiences as entirely positive while blocking out negative consequences
Euphoric Recall
Emotionally honest, direct, and expressive
Assertive behavior
Common triggers that can cause someone to react quickly and without thinking.
Feeling disrespected, feeling rejected, feeling controlled, feeling criticized
This is one thing you should avoid saying during a disagreement because it often increases defensiveness: "You _______."
Always or never
Name 10 coping skills in under 30 seconds!
STOP skill, urge surfing, grounding, taking a break, going for a walk, 5-4-3-2-1, meditation, listening to music, journaling, identify your emotions, pause, call a support, healthy distractions, set healthy boundaries, self-care, RAIN skill, HALT skill, play the tape forward