Jeopardy: Santa's life

At the North Pole

100

Yes, Snowflake?

Santa? Sir?

200

Jolly took care of it.

Where's Joey2's present?

300

Joey2 seems to like Jeopardy. Why don't you take the last 25 questions you can recall people asked me and make him a special edition of Jeopardy: "Jeopardy: Santa's Life."

Jolly drowned last summer, sir. One moment his house was on solid ice, the next... Anyway, shall I make Joey a present?

400

You want to censor me? You can't, 'cause this isn't North Korea, where the censors are in charge. No, this is the North Pole and I run this place. I say **** when I want to. ****. ****.

I don't have to include the interrogation, do I?

500

Alright then.

Can I at least take out ****?

At the Police Station

100

Why did you take me here? Is it because I said "ho ho ho"? Listen, "ho ho ho" doesn't mean "prostitute prostitute prostitute" when I say it. And even if it does, have you seen how the girls in this town are dressed? They're asking for it.

Could you please sit down, sir?

200

For someone to- Oh no no no. They aren't asking for it. I didn't say that. I just said that, if I had chanted "prostitute prostitute prostitute" at a teenage girl in this town, I would have been in the right. OK, I'll shut up now.

They're asking for what, sir?

300

I'm not used to the heat. I live on the North Pole, you know. Also, if a kid wants a dead body, he will get a dead body.

We are suspecting you of robbing graves. Sir? Why are you undressing?

400

So the rumors about the creation of Frankensanta are wrong? Are you nude?

Yes and yes.

500

Get on your knees and make Santa proud, officer.

And to think today was supposed to be my day off... You know what? You are free to go, sir. I'm going to take my wife and children to the church to pray, as I had planned to. Okay?

At the Graveyard

100

Don't be silly, Snowflake. Ghosts don't exist. Give me the shovel.

Is someone walking over there?

200

Stop being a ****, Snowflake. Where is Jolly when I need him?

Do you mind keeping your voice down, sir?

300

Eek! A ghost!

He died last sum- There is definitely someone walking over there. Shall we run for it?

400

I have an idea. When you're interrogated, tell them a lonely, sweet girl wants a dead body for Christmas. They'll never be able to prove we're lying.

He heard you. What do you prefer: running or getting arrested?

500

Naive, naive elf.

What? I can hardly think of anything so illegal that delivering a dead body to a young child makes a proper alibi. Please, tell me: What are you doing with those bodies?

At Santa's Secret Science Lab

100

IT'S ALIVE! IT'S AAALIVE! Oh, hey Snowflake.

Santa?

200

Wait a minute. Don't you give up on me, number 12723. Don't you give up on me.

Can I come in?

300

Get Jolly!

Should I call for help?

400

Do I need to approve of everything you do? Yes, leave the coco on the table next to the door, then go dig a grave.

Jolly died last summer, sir. Do you want me to leave coco on the table next to the door?

500

For Fran- For... Eh... You. Yeah, for you. Because you make me want to kill you sometimes. It's a symbolic grave.

For who?