siblings
courteous chicken employee who celebrates their birthday with cookies, ice cream, and suspiciously close bonding time with their older brother
Ryan Matheny
This fast-food kingdom of curly fries and towering roast beef sandwiches boldly declares “We Have the Meats” like it’s threatening every other restaurant in America.
arby's
local swim club featuring amenities like a diving well 12-foot in depth, a children's pool, a critically acclaimed snack shack, an irresponsible employment team of teenage lifeguards, and mediocre management
this bubbling backyard oasis serves as the friend group’s unofficial headquarters for questionable conversations, wrinkly fingers, and pretending the freezing walk back inside is worth it
ella's hot tub
This golden, bubbly beverage turns ordinary conversations into passionate debates about absolutely nothing and convinces people that sitting in a lawn chair counts as a productive evening.
beer
can be found making tiny skateboards do tricks, creating their own personal fog machine, and calling the shots from the sidelines
Jake Nader
This country-themed restaurant where complimentary peanuts cover the floor, rolls with cinnamon butter possess supernatural addictive powers, and grown adults willingly line dance while waiting for a steak big enough to make a cowboy question his appetite.
texas roadhouse
gathering location featuring a swimming pool, olympic water basketball court, home gym, flat screen TV, an overweight and partially blind dog, and an abundance of cookies
ethan lindbloom's house
college sporting event featuring two familiar faces tackling grown men in a chaotic grass-covered mosh pit while everyone watching pretends to understand the rules
eku rugby game
This elegant late-night concoction combines the energy of a Monday morning with the decision-making skills of a Friday night, leaving you wide awake and questionable in judgment.
espresso martini
building a career in the Windy City’s fashion scene while keeping the future love of their life on a lifetime subscription to the friend zone until the wedding finally drops
Kaylie Collins
This late-night cookie dealer delivers warm, gooey circles of happiness to sleep-deprived college students and sugar addicts who have decided that 2 a.m. is the perfect time to consume their entire daily calorie allowance in chocolate chips.
insomnia cookies
This once-glorious woodland headquarters, secretly constructed by a band of neighborhood friends using questionable engineering and unmatched confidence, served as a legendary hideout until its reign was brutally ended by random woods goers who apparently had no respect for childhood history.
the pit
birthday getaway of climbing rocks, stealing crocs, jumping off cliffs because your friends are too
white rock park
This tangy, citrus-filled concoction turns an ordinary evening into a vacation and makes a salted rim feel like the fanciest accessory a glass could possibly wear.
margarita
legendary former baseball mascot crossed the rainbow bridge but still holds the all-time record for fridge defense, snack consumption, and being the household’s heaviest-hitting security guard
Lexi Lindbloom
This tropical-inspired food spot serves up island-style comfort food with enough rice, savory meats, and creamy sides to make you feel like you’ve escaped to paradise without the expensive plane ticket or the risk of getting lost in the ocean.
Big Kahuna
This burrito joint lets you build your own tortilla-wrapped masterpiece and pile on the queso and famous titicular reference sauces, while enjoying the accessibility of neighboring great clips and smoke shop
hot head burrito
freshman paradise where country music blasts, cowboy boots multiply, and hundreds of underclassmen gather to two-step, yell lyrics they barely know, and pretend they’ve been going out for years.
Ella's 21st bday at The Hill
This bitter, hop-filled beverage tastes like a pine tree got into an argument with a grapefruit, leaving craft beer enthusiasts proudly sipping liquid lawn clippings while insisting it’s an acquired taste.
IPA
holds exclusive naming rights to one basement couch cushion, has a limb with a mind of its own, and treats tormenting his little brother like a full-time job
Sean Monohan
laid-back college hangout where massive burgers, comfy couches, and sports blaring on every screen turn watching a game into an all-day commitment and leaving the furniture feeling like your second home
charlie brown's
Public facility where pickleball champions were born, ankles were endangered on a sand volleyball court that feels like it was installed during the Civil War, and friend groups meet to start a perfect summer night
general ormsby park
adventure involving sneaking onto a forgotten vessel, investigating its mysterious past, and hoping the floor doesn’t collapse before you can pretend you’re an explorer in a low-budget pirate movie
Abandoned boat we snuck around idk
This deceptively innocent-looking concoction combines enough different spirits to make a bartender question their career choices and disguises itself as an iced southern delicacy
long island iced tea