English pronunciation
What do mermaids have on toast?
What is mermerlade
What do you call turtles that ride on a bus?
What is passengers
Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?
He was standing on the deck
Where does a hog look when he can’t spell a word?
Pigtionary
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
You’re too young to smoke
What do cave girls eat for lunch?
What is club sandwich
What do pigs use on sore toes?
What is oinkment
What is a sound sleeper?
Somebody who snores
Was Dracula ever married?
No, he was a batchelor
Why are pirates pirates?
Because they arr
How many peas are there in a pint?
What is one
What did the Dalmatian say when he walked for dinner?
What is Save me a spot on the table
Why can’t you play jokes on snakes?
You can't pull their legs
What pie can fly?
A magpie
How do you make a witch itch?
Take away the “w”
What do witches use on their hair?
What is scarespray
What bird can lift the most?
What is a crane
What kind of kitten works for the World Health Organization?
A first-aid-kit
How did the little skunk call his mother?
On a smellphone
Why do golfers take an extra pair of socks?
In case they get a hole in one
What kinds of jokes do vegetables like best?
What is corny jokes
Why is the vet so busy?
What is It’s raining cats and dogs
What fast food do sea monsters eat?
Fish and chips
Why did the boy throw a glass of water out the window?
To see the waterfall
Why did the witch give up fortune telling?
There was no future in it