Sports
How many Chicago Bears does it take to win a Super Bowl?
One. Walter Peyton. But he's retired
What do you call a bear with no ears?
B!
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork Chop
What vegetables do librarians like?
Quiet Peas
I broke up with my video game console. What is it?
Now it's my ex-box
What do you call a Cleveland Browns QB at the Super Bowl?
A spectator.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken!
What does man love more than life, hate more than death or mortal strife; That which contented men desire; the poor have, the rich require; the miser spends, the spendthrift saves, and all men carry to their graves?
Nothing.
Why didn't the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
TIL that in most video games it's better to lose your health during the summer and winter seasons. Why?
Because that way you don't have to worry about Fall damage
How are scrambled eggs and football teams the same?
They've both been beaten.
What animals have more lives than a cat?
Frogs, they croak every night!
Why did the M&M go to school?
It wanted to be a smartie!
What is the world's tallest building?
A Library. It has the most stories.
Why is great to have garbage men as my video game teammates?
They are used to carrying trash
How do you spot a Tennessee fan at a wedding?
It would be wearing an orange shirt.
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bull-dozer
Where do mermaids look for jobs?
The kelp-wanted section.
What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?
Stop going in circles and get to the point!
What's a COVID denier's favorite video game?
Space Invader
Why do basketball players like cookies?
It’s just another excuse to dunk.
What animals are on legal documents?
Seals!
What did the science book say to the math book?
Wow, you got problems.
What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet!
What is Owen Wilson's favorite video game?
Wow.