Jokes
What does the invisible man drink?
evaporated milk
Why did the baker go to jail?
He was caught beating eggs
What happens when a grape gets old and cranky?
It starts to wine
Why do spiders enjoy computers so much?
They like to play on the web
Where do pigs sleep in the summertime?
In ham-mocks
What is a gas station's favorite type of shoe?
the pump
What has six eyes but cannot see?
Three blind mice
Why did the banana get a speeding ticket?
He got caught peeling out of the parking lot
Why was the piano locked out the house?
It lost its keys
What do you give a dog to make him laugh?
A funny bone
What is a snake's favorite subject?
HISStory
What fish can help you build a house?
Hammerheads
Why did the police photograph the cup of coffee?
To get its mug shot
Which TV shows are the cleanest?
Soaps
What kind of sweaters do tortoises wear?
Turtle Necks
Why did the pencil cross the road first?
because it's a LEADer
Why don't ducks say a joke when they're flying?
They might quack up
How do you get a piece of bread to do you a favor?
You butter it up
How do prisoners stay in touch with each other?
With their CELL phones
How can you tell a whale is sad?
By its blubber-ing
What did the toilet say when it was playing cards?
flush!
What did the cannibal say after it finished eating a clown?
That tasted funny
What's a good snack to eat on Father's Day?
Pop-corn
Why do you need an ATM to make pizza?
That's where you get the dough!
What police unit do flies fear the most?
The SWAT team