Dad Jokes
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
What do you call bears with no ears?
B
What is the best way to burn vegetables
Roast them
Which bear is the most condescending?
A Pan Duh!
Why was school easier for cave people?
Because there was no history to study!
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they're so good at it!
Why are fish so bad at basketball?
They don't like getting close to the net.
What is the difference between broccoli and boogers?
Kids won't eat the broccoli!
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator
Why did the M & M go to school?
Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, no atmosphere!
Why are horses always so negative?
Because they say neigh to everything.
What's the best food to eat before a workout
Mussels
How do celebrities stay cool?
They have many fans
Why do magicians do well in school?
They're good at trick questions!
Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I'm not going to spread it!
What is as big as an elephant but weighs zero pounds?
An elephant's shadow.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water
Because he was a little hoarse
What's brown and sticky?
A stick
Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school?
She had bright students!
Want to hear a joke about construction?
I'm still working on it!
What do you get when an elephant sneezes?
You get out of the way.
Which dessert is perfect to eat in bed?
Sheet cake
What kind of bagel can fly?
A plain bagel
What makes Cyclops such an effective teacher?
He only has one pupil !