jokes 1
What do you call a happy cowboy?
A jolly rancher.
What does one wall say to the other?
I'll meet you at the corner.
Why was the princess in the emergency room?
Because she broke her crown.
What get wet while it's drying?
A towel.
What did one plate say to the other plate?
Dinner is on me.
How do you make a holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His car got toad away.
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
It had a virus.
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree.
What falls, but never needs a bandage?
The rain.
Why was the couch yelling at the vending machine?
He wanted his quarterback.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because he lost his filling.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
What animal is always at a baseball game?
A bat.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
Why are eyeshadow, lipstick and mascara never mad at each other?
Because they always wake up.
What do you call a train carrying bubblegum?
A chew-chew train.
What is one firefly say to the other?
You glow, girl!
What happens when the clock strikes 13?
Trying to get a new clock.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
What kind of dance was the frog prince best at?
Hip hop.
What's a ball that you don't throw, shoot, eat, spit, bounce or catch?
An eyeball.
What did the DNA say to the other DNA?
Do these these genes make me look fat.
What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield.