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Hard Riddles
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Simple Riddles
Funny Jokes
100
Every night you tell me what to do. Every morning, I do what I'm told. I am still always scolded though. What am I?
An Alarm Clock!
100
Why did the can-crusher quit her job?
Because it was soda-pressing!
100
Why are frogs so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them!
100
What goes up when rain goes down?
An umbrella!
100
Why did the belt go to jail?
Because it held up a pair of pants!
200
What loses it head at night and gets it back in the morning?
A pillow!
200
What did one hat say to the other?
You stay here, I'll go on ahead!
200
What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?
It barked with de-light!
200
Why couldn't the pirate play cards?
'cuz he was sitting on the deck!
200
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because it would be a foot!
300
I have keys but no locks. I have space but no room. You can enter, but you can't go in. What am I?
A keyboard
300
Why didn't the shrimp share his treasure?
Because he was very shellfish!
300
What did the hamburger name his daughter?
Patty!
300
What is the most hardworking part of the eye?
The pupil!
300
Why was the students report card wet?
It was below C level!
400
What can you catch but not throw?
A cold!
400
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten-tickles!
400
What's the longest word in the dictionary?
Smiles! (It has a mile between the ss)
400
How do you find a princess?
You follow the foot prince!
400
What did the grape do when it got an injection?
It let out a little wine!
500
I'm always there, some distance away. I'm trapped between land, sea, and sky. You come closer, but I'm still distant. What am I?
The Horizon.
500
Why is England the wettest country?
Because the queen had reigned there for years!
500
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
Just in case they get a hole in one!
500
What happens if life gives you melons?
You're dyslexic!
500
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!