What do you call a joke about a little mountain?
Hill- arious!
What do you call a dog who is getting old?
GrandPAW.
How do bees get to school?
By school buzz
What do you get when you cross a snail with a porcupine?
How many seconds are there in a year?
12
Jan 2nd
Feb. 2nd
March 2nd.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it!
What kind of dog can jump higher than a building?
All kinds — buildings can’t jump.
How do fish get to school?
By octobus
What kind of tree can fit in one hand?
A palm tree.
What has to be broken before you can use it?
An egg.
What do astronauts do before throwing a party in space?
They plan-et.
What makes more noise than a dog barking?
Two dogs barking.
Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
It's not right.
How do they keep the basketball arena cool?
They fill it with fans.
The more you take, the more you leave behind. What is it?
Footsteps.
Why was the broom late for school?
It overswept.
Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor?
He was seeing spots.
Why did the students study in the airplane?
Because they wanted higher grades.
Why does it take pirates a long time to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at 'C'
What can you catch but not throw?
A cold.
Why do we say “break a leg” to actors?
Because every play needs a cast.
What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A flying carpet.
Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
Because his keys were in the piano.
How does a cow do math?
With a cow-culator!
What can fill up a room without taking any space?
Light