Thoughts About You
I should have known better.
Everyone makes mistakes/ no one can predict the future and I forgive myself.
Why are you wearing that?
Does commenting on what someone is wearing important in this situation? What if the clothes are dirty? Inappropriate? What can you say?
What a waste of time.
I learned something new. I know more about this situation.
That apple is "good." That place is "bad." That person is "bad."
You just moved to a new place. You say to yourself, "This is a "good" apartment."
The apartment is close to your community, public transportation is easily accessible, you can afford the rent, it has a washer and dryer, it's big enough, it's well maintained, the landlord is fair and understanding., etc.
I shouldn't feel sad about this.
I feel sad about this. It's ok to feel sad about this. What is the sadness I'm feeling telling me?
You're always late.
I noticed you had some difficulty coming in today, tell me more about that.
It's too hard.
I need to try something different. I need to ask for help.
True or False: Judgments that evaluate are facts?
False: Judgments that evaluate add something to the facts.
My breakfast was "bad."
The food was expired, it didn't fill me up, I didn't like the taste, my stomach wasn't feeling well, I didn't have time to enjoy it, I skipped breakfast, etc.
How could anyone ever love me?
Right now I feel unworthy, what is this telling me? Think of the people who love you. Think of how your emotional needs were not met in this situation.
That's a bad idea.
Does this need to be commented on? Ask how their idea reaches their goal.
It should have been done this way.
Next time I will/ they can do it differently.
Why be nonjudgmental?
Negative judgment creates conflict and can damage relationships with people we care for. Saying that things “should” not have happened, or saying that they are “bad” and “should” be different, is mostly ineffective and does not change things.
That person is "bad."
That person is having a hard time, that person didn't respect my boundaries, I don't align with that person's values, I have different goals than that person, etc.
I can't do anything right.
I made a mistake and I will try again. I learned something. I will get it right next time.
You made a huge mistake on this report.
Does the mistake matter? Do you need help with your report? "New time try..."
I hate this baby crying on the train.
I am overstimulated. I am irritated. I am tired. What are these feelings telling me?
Fill in the blank: One way to be nonjudgmental is to replace the word______ or letting go of the way we think reality ______ be.
SHOULD. Replace “SHOULD” with describing how we feel or what we desire. Can you reword this example:
I should have been on time today.
I had a "bad" time.
I felt tired, I had a stomach ache, I was bored, I felt like my needs weren't met, etc.
I am so lazy.
What are the facts? I did't reach my goals today. I needed rest today. I feel tired. What is my low energy telling me?
I guess some people don't care about the rules.
Is the rule important enough to mention? State the rule- such as a dress code
That driver is stupid for cutting me off! They don't know how to drive!
How can I prioritize my safety?
Judgments are often used to describe consequences. For example: What is a consequence of eating "BAD" meat?
Food poisoning, health concerns, dehydration, being in pain, not feeling well, missing out on something, missing a deadline or appointment, etc.
That movie was "bad."
The movie wasn't what I expected, didn't entertain me, didn't align with my values, wasn't long enough, I didn't understand some scenes, etc.