Feeling Detective
Name one feeling you might have when something exciting happens.
Happy, excited, joyful, or enthusiastic.
Show me one slow, calming breath.
Slowly breathe in through the nose and slowly breathe out through the mouth.
An adult says, "No, not right now." What is one respectful thing you can say? in.
"Okay."
"Can you tell me when I can?"
"I'm disappointed, but I understand.
Name one kind thing you can do for someone in your family.
Help with a chore, share, give a compliment, listen, help a sibling, or offer encouragement.
What is a choice?
A decision about what you will do or how you will respond.
You're playing with your favorite toy. A parent says, "It's time to clean up." You don't want to stop. What do you do?
Notice the disappointment, take a breath, use a respectful voice, and clean up. The client may appropriately ask for a short amount of additional time.
Your heart starts beating faster, your fists get tight, and you feel like yelling. What feeling might your body be telling you about?
Anger or Frustration
Pretend you're at a 5/10 frustration level. Demonstrate one coping strategy
Any appropriate demonstrated coping strategy, such as deep breathing, counting to 10, taking space, or positive self-talk
You really want something, but the answer is no. Should you scream, or can you use a calm voice to explain how you feel
Use a calm voice and explain your feelings respectfully.
Someone is talking to you while you're playing. What does good listening look like?
Pause the activity, look toward the person, listen, avoid interrupting, and respond appropriately.
You're asked to clean up your toys and don't want to. Give me two choices you could make.
No. Everyone makes mistakes, and we can learn from them and make different choices.
Your sibling gets something you wanted. What might you feel, and what could you do?
Feelings could include jealousy, disappointment, sadness, or frustration. The client can breathe, use positive self-talk, communicate respectfully, and practice accepting the situation.
You're told you have to stop playing your favorite game. Name two feelings you might have.
Disappointed, frustrated, sad, or angry.
Pretend you're at a 5/10 frustration level. Demonstrate one coping strategy.
Any appropriate demonstrated coping strategy, such as deep breathing, counting to 10, taking space, or positive self-talk.
You're told screen time is finished, but you want five more minutes. Give me a respectful response.
"I'm disappointed. Can I have five more minutes?"
If the answer remains no: "Okay, I'll stop."
Your sibling accidentally knocks over something you made. What could you say instead of yelling?
"It's okay. Please be careful next time."
"I worked hard on that. Can you help me fix it?"
You're asked to clean up your toys and don't want to. Give me two choices you could make.
Clean up calmly.
Ask respectfully for a short amount of extra time.
Ask for help.
Begin with one part of the cleanup.
You accidentally hurt someone's feelings. What could accountability look like?
Recognize what happened, acknowledge the person's feelings, apologize sincerely, and try to make a better choice next time.
What are three body clues that might tell you you're becoming frustrated?
Tight fists
Fast heartbeat
Tight muscles
Feeling hot
Clenched jaw
Faster/louder voice
Wanting to yell or stomp
You're getting really frustrated during an argument. Name three things you could do before responding.
Stop/pause, breathe, identify the feeling, use a calm voice, take a break, or think about what you want to say.
Someone tells you "no," and you feel your anger getting bigger. What should you notice in your body, and what could you do next?
Notice signs such as tight fists, a fast heartbeat, or a loud voice. Then pause, breathe, take a break if appropriate, and respond calmly.
How might another person feel if you use a calm voice instead of yelling?
They may feel safer, respected, calmer, heard, or more willing to communicate.
You yelled at someone because you were frustrated. What could you do afterward to take responsibility?
Calm down, acknowledge what happened, apologize, identify what you could have done differently, and make an effort to repair the situation.
Someone says something that makes you angry. Show me a calm response.
Pause, breathe, keep hands and body safe, use a calm voice, and communicate the problem without yelling or aggression.
You feel really angry, but you don't want to yell. What can you do?
Notice the feeling, take a breath, pause, use a coping strategy, and communicate calmly.
Create your own three-step "Calm-Down Plan."
Stop and pause.
Take three deep breaths.
Use calm words or ask for a break.
Role-play this situation: "You ask for something you really want, and the answer is no." Show me how you could handle it.
Staying physically safe
Using a calm voice
Naming the feeling
Using a coping skill
Accepting the limit or asking an appropriate question
Tell me about a situation where someone might be having a difficult day. What could you do to show empathy?
Listen, ask if they're okay, offer help, give them space if needed, say something kind, or let a trusted adult know.
Complete this sentence: "I chose to _____. The result was _____. Next time I can _____."
"I chose to yell. The result was that my sister felt upset. Next time I can take a breath and use a calm voice."
You are at a 9/10 frustration level. What should you do before trying to solve the problem?
Take space if appropriate, breathe, calm the body, and then return to the problem when ready.