Badly Explained Disney Princes Part Deux
Is basically Hamlet
Simba (The Lion King)
This spotted cat is the fastest animal in the world and can accelerate from 0 to 60 mph in 3 seconds - only slightly faster than when the average housecat gets the zoomies.
Cheetah
She wrote the gothic classic Frankenstein.
Mary Shelley
The largest Christian body worldwide, they just recently went under new American management.
Catholicism
In the 1920s, the German drug company Bayer advertised this intense drug as a cough remedy for children.
Heroin
Can't help himself when he sees a sleeping woman.
Prince Philip (Sleeping Beauty)
This is the world's fastest man, who reached speeds of 44.7 km/h during the 100 m sprint in 2009.
Usain Bolt
She is the iconic, fictional, and practically-perfect nanny.
Mary Poppins
This denomination was created when King Henry VIII decided he wanted a younger wife.
Anglicanism
This is the oldest known surgical procedure, involving the drilling or scraping a hole into the skull to relieve intercranial pressure.
Trepanning
Can't help himself when he sees a woman who might be dead.
Prince Charming (Snow White)
In 1997, Andy Green drove The ThrustSSC to 1,228 km/h, becoming the first land speed vehicle to do this.
Break the sound barrier.
This world-famous brunch cocktail is made with tomato juice and vodka.
Bloody Mary
This denomination emphasizes lively worship and speaking in tongues. It's the Holy Spirit at work!
Pentecostalism
Bloodletting.
DAILY DOUBLE
Almost gives up his rural life to live in civilization.
This is the fastest bird in the world, cruising at speeds of 64 to 97 km/h and diving at speeds exceeding 320 km/h
Peregrin falcon
This famous twin was a child actor before switching to fashion and business.
Mary-Kate Olsen
This group is centered in Eastern Europe. They focus on ancient traditions and rejecting the Pope. A notable convert was Vladimir the Great who really liked Constantinople and the fact he could still drink alcohol.
Eastern Orthodoxy
Many 19th Century doctors, including our friend Sigmund Freud, liked to prescribe this drug to treat anything from depression to toothaches.
Cocaine
The frog formally known as Prince
Prince Naveen (The Princess and the Frog)
This is the fastest fish in the world, capable of short-burst speeds of 110 km/h
Sailfish
The original Bloody Mary, she ruled England during the counter-reformation.
This group focuses on restoring the church to its original, uncorrupted form instead of reforming existing ones.
Restorationism (Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, etc.)
Austrian physician Julius Wagner-Jauregg won the Nobel Prize for his discovery that giving Syphilis patients this different disease could bring on fever and help with treatment.
Malaria