Name the three college roommates of the Bride in attendance
Hannah, Brittany, and Sammy
After her friend went on a bad first date with a Trumpie, and said Trumpie Venmo requested her for the dinner he paid for after the date, this Bach guest called all of her friends and asked that they Venmo this man a penny with the caption “your worth” or “for Planned Parenthood donation”. Then this Bach guest proceeded to have a fight in the Venmo comments with him venmoing a penny back and forth.
Hint: the friend that went on the date is also present today.
Pat
She is known to dance on tables with the bride.
Brittany
When she was an RA in college, she had a resident tell her that her roommate peed on her toothbrush and told her so after she used it (ew). The plot twist was that the pee-er was actually getting back at her because the resident was a bully and stole her keys so she couldn’t get in her own room.
Alyssa
She’s a pathologist assistant.
Hannah
Two of our Bach guests had babies this year! Who are they?
Hannah and Caitlyn
She is known to dance on tables with the bride.
Brittany
A guy she went on a date with told her he was taking her to a “special, unique, hole in the wall” pizza place and the pizza place was just a MOD pizza
Alyssa
She went on a double date w/ her friend , but neither of their dates knew it. This Bach guest and her friend planned their dates at the same time and place so they could gossip in the bathroom. Her and her friend both had the meanest professor on campus that semester, and they ran into him on this fake double date. The professor ratted them out for their scheme to their dates and while chatting with him, this Bach guest spilled a whole glass of beer on herself.
Lexi
She blogs her life on YouTube.
Caroline
She went on a first date with an accountant who brought his laptop to lunch and said that he hoped paying for brunch would be a “good investment”. She did not go on a second date with this man, obviously.
Sarah
Her wildest night, “I punched my friend because she didn’t get me the right pizza, did a backflip out of the backseat of my own car and collapsed on my friends kitchen floor”
Pat
She has three kidneys
Brittany
She knows a weirdly large amount of trivia about the Shrek franchise.
Sarah